Jokes

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Last summer I was on holiday with my wife in Vegas.

On our last night we were having cocktails in the hotel bar when I realised that a rather dapper businessman kept looking over and staring at my wife. At first I didn't think anything of it, but when she excused herself to go to the toilet, he stood up and walked over to me.

"Excuse me for being so rude, but I couldn't help but look at your wife", he said, exuding confidence. "Tell me, are you aware of the film, Indecent Proposal?"

"Well y-y-yes", I stammered, trying to mask the excitement in my voice, "Why, are you about to make some kind of offer for one night with my wife?"

"No way!" He laughed. "I just wanted to tell you that she looks exactly like Robert Redford."
 
considering taking the makers of pot noodle to court under the trades description act, i had eight of them yesterday and wasn't nowhere near being stoned
 
it was the wife's special birthday recently and normally she never gives any indications to what she would like,but this time she said how about something silky....so i got her 20 litres of emulsion