1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    24,955
    Likes Received:
    33,727
  2. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2012
    Messages:
    1,931
    Likes Received:
    3,608
  3. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    24,955
    Likes Received:
    33,727
  4. DMD

    DMD Eh?
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    60,909
    Likes Received:
    50,508
  5. DMD

    DMD Eh?
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    60,909
    Likes Received:
    50,508
    upload_2022-7-11_22-7-2.png
     
    #5805
    stonkin likes this.
  6. Gessa

    Gessa Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2018
    Messages:
    11,958
    Likes Received:
    21,900
  7. blonogasoven

    blonogasoven Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2018
    Messages:
    2,723
    Likes Received:
    6,529
    Last summer I was on holiday with my wife in Vegas.

    On our last night we were having cocktails in the hotel bar when I realised that a rather dapper businessman kept looking over and staring at my wife. At first I didn't think anything of it, but when she excused herself to go to the toilet, he stood up and walked over to me.

    "Excuse me for being so rude, but I couldn't help but look at your wife", he said, exuding confidence. "Tell me, are you aware of the film, Indecent Proposal?"

    "Well y-y-yes", I stammered, trying to mask the excitement in my voice, "Why, are you about to make some kind of offer for one night with my wife?"

    "No way!" He laughed. "I just wanted to tell you that she looks exactly like Robert Redford."
     
    #5807
  8. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2020
    Messages:
    5,173
    Likes Received:
    10,758
    was in the queue at the bank when suddenly a dyslexic guy burst in shouting "get the stick down,this is a **** up"
     
    #5808
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  9. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2020
    Messages:
    5,173
    Likes Received:
    10,758
    considering taking the makers of pot noodle to court under the trades description act, i had eight of them yesterday and wasn't nowhere near being stoned
     
    #5809
  10. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2012
    Messages:
    1,931
    Likes Received:
    3,608

  11. Gessa

    Gessa Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2018
    Messages:
    11,958
    Likes Received:
    21,900
  12. 2 pennth

    2 pennth Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2016
    Messages:
    10,791
    Likes Received:
    12,775
    #5812
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  13. Gessa

    Gessa Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2018
    Messages:
    11,958
    Likes Received:
    21,900
    It's OK, it's one of her old ones <laugh>

    She did call me a cheeky bastard when I sent it to her, as did my sisters
     
    #5813
    2 pennth and Makemstine Roger like this.
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,379
    Likes Received:
    113,965
    #5814
    Gessa likes this.
  15. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2020
    Messages:
    5,173
    Likes Received:
    10,758
    it was the wife's special birthday recently and normally she never gives any indications to what she would like,but this time she said how about something silky....so i got her 20 litres of emulsion
     
    #5815
    Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,379
    Likes Received:
    113,965
    shouldn't you have worn it on your head n the interest of integration
     
    #5816
  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,379
    Likes Received:
    113,965
    I’m a 35-year-old male, and I’m yet to get my first period. Is that normal?
     
    #5817
    DMD, oldschool and Diego like this.
  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,379
    Likes Received:
    113,965
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5818
    Gessa, 2 pennth, OLOF and 1 other person like this.
  19. Diego

    Diego Lone Ranger

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2011
    Messages:
    46,247
    Likes Received:
    21,017
    Your'e dressing all wrong, it'll never happen for you :(
     
    #5819
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,379
    Likes Received:
    113,965
    <laugh><laugh><laugh><ok><applause><applause>:emoticon-0136-giggl
     
    #5820
    Diego likes this.

Share This Page