Jokes

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bloke in the boozer said he has a guaranteed pick up line that never fails no matter how stunning or out of his league the woman is, he said he never fails to end up in the sack with them...he said he starts with "excuse me love could i ask your opinion? does this damp cloth smell of chloroform to you?"
 
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oldschool said:
bloke in the boozer said he has a guaranteed pick up line that never fails no matter how stunning or out of his league the woman is, he said he never fails to end up in the sack with them...he said he starts with "excuse me love could i ask your opinion? does this damp cloth smell of chloroform to you?"
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I’ve reported you to the police.
 
Paddy and Seamus are watching the footy at Paddy's house, when the match has finished it's raining cats and dogs so paddy says " ya can't go home in that Seamus I'll make the spare bed up"......when paddy comes downstairs Seamus is stood there soaking wet, " what the feck happened Seamus".....he says "I went home to get my pyjamas"
 
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You really can't say anything these days without someone being offended, in the pub the other night a girl was on t.v. recalling her abusive start in life by an uncle she said "it all started around 8" I got some looks when all I said was "do we really need to know the time"
 
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