A man runs up the street obviously leeing from someone. He sees and Nun and goes to her. lease, can i hide under your habit?" She agrees and he ducks under. Two MPs come along and ask if she had seen a man running. She says yes and points 'He went that way". The MPs dash off. The man comes out from under her habit. "Thanks, for that. I don't want to go to Iraq. By the way, you've got an impressive pair of legs." "Yes" says the nun."if you'd looked a little higher you would have seen and impressive pair of balls. I don't want to go to Iraq either".
I was telling a guy at work how useless I am with the ladies, and how I had to stand on a chair to kiss last night's date goodnight. He said, "Wow! She was that tall?" I said, "No, she hanged herself."
Went to see a mind reader last night. She said "Think of a card, any card" "OK" "Is it the four of clubs?" "No" "Ace of diamonds?" "No" "What is it then?" "Birthday"