A man and his wife were awakened at 3 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife.. "Just some drunken bloke asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it's 3 am and it's blinking pouring with rain out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two lads helped us? I think that you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too, you know." The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing," replied the drunk..
It is said that America will soon take second place to China as a global innovator, mainly due to the 'dumbing down' of American popular culture. That's not the kind of thinking that sent Neil Armstrong and Buzz Lightyear to the Moon.
Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster: The Great Composers! "I wanna be Beethoven," said Stallone. "I gotta be Mozart," replied Willis "What about you, Arnie?" they asked............"I'll be Bach !"
THE SILENT TREATMENT A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are simply not equipped for these kinds of contests.
except here..................................however people were very close but failed to count the chocolate chips in the cookies Este WAS THE WINNER
