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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

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  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Premature Ejaculation.
    I remember going on a first date when I had to broach this subject.
    We had only been in the restaurant 10 minutes when I blurted out “ I have to explain something, I suffer from Premature Ejaculation” “That’s presumptuous” she replied, “I haven’t decided whether I was going to sleep with you. “
    “ I know it’s just I didn’t want you to think I had wet myself. “
     
    #1981
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 5, 2021
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  2. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    Drinking alcohol free beer is like watching porn on the radio.
     
    #1982
    brisbane-lion, Feb 5, 2021
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  3. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    My grandfather was having sex at 29 but he lived at 27. I've got a spare uncle out there somewhere (True story)
     
    #1983
    brisbane-lion, Feb 5, 2021
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  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1984
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 5, 2021
    lifecheshirewhite, Whitejock, FORZA LEEDS and 1 other person like this.
  5. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    A man tells his Rabbi that he has the desire to live for ever. The Rabbi advises him to marry. "Will that ensure I live for ever?" "No, it it remove the desire."
     
    #1985
    brisbane-lion, Feb 6, 2021
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  6. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    #1986
    Old Git, Feb 6, 2021
    Makemstine Roger, esteponawhite, FORZA LEEDS and 1 other person like this.
  7. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    #1987
    Whitejock, Feb 6, 2021
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  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1988
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 6, 2021
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    I think I've been watching too much porn on my computer.
    I tried to log on last night and I got a message saying, 'Not tonight, I've got a headache.'
     
    #1989
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 6, 2021
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  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1990
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 7, 2021

  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1991
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 7, 2021
  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1992
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 7, 2021
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  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1993
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 7, 2021
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    I tried to remarry my ex, but she sussed I was only after my own f*cking money!
     
    #1994
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 7, 2021
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  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1995
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 7, 2021
  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    To the woman in ASDA with the screaming kids.
    If you're wondering how the condoms got into your trolley you're welcome
     
    #1996
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 7, 2021
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  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1997
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 8, 2021
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  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1998
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 8, 2021
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  19. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    #1999
    Old Git, Feb 10, 2021
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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #2000
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 10, 2021
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