1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

**** jokes thread

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by PINKIE, Sep 21, 2017.

Page 29 of 41
  1. DMD

    DMD Eh?
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    61,069
    Likes Received:
    50,681
    On the night after his wedding, a Spurs fan turned up at his parents house in tears saying "I've left her because she's told me she's still a virgin"

    "You've done the right thing" said Ma and Pa Spud. "If she wasn't good enough for her family, she's not good enough for ours".
     
    #561
    DMD, Apr 11, 2019
    The Ginger Marks likes this.
  2. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    16,722
    Likes Received:
    23,598
    My mate was shagging identical twins from Barrow I said ****ing hell mate how do you tell them apart so you don’t get caught, he said it’s easy the brothers got a moustache.
     
    #562
    rooch 3, Apr 11, 2019
  3. Treble

    Treble Keyser Söze

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2011
    Messages:
    55,227
    Likes Received:
    45,323
    Surprised you didn't change it to "Spurs fan" instead of "My mate" in a futile attempt to make it funnier.
     
    #563
    Treble, Apr 12, 2019
  4. DMD

    DMD Eh?
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    61,069
    Likes Received:
    50,681
    Pfft, like a Spurs getting a shag would ring true. :emoticon-0114-dull:
     
    #564
    DMD, Apr 12, 2019
  5. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    16,722
    Likes Received:
    23,598
    He was a spurs fan <laugh>
     
    #565
    rooch 3, Apr 12, 2019
    Treble likes this.
  6. The Ginger Marks

    The Ginger Marks Ma Mo

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    40,611
    Likes Received:
    16,228
    Only up the arse.
     
    #566
    The Ginger Marks, Apr 12, 2019
    DMD likes this.
  7. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    24,187
    Likes Received:
    14,909
    I used to be a Weather Forecaster .

    Does anyone want a broken Barometer ?

    No pressure ...    ​
     
    #567
    Number 1 Jasper, Apr 14, 2019
    Lovearsenalcock and remembercolinlee like this.
  8. Tobes

    Tobes Warden
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2012
    Messages:
    72,888
    Likes Received:
    57,325
    Bump
     
    #568
    Tobes, Aug 3, 2020
    Libby likes this.
  9. Welshie

    Welshie Chavcunt fanboy dickhead

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    25,787
    Likes Received:
    23,946
    Top thread 10/10 good stuff.

    **** Leeds
     
    #569
    Welshie, Aug 3, 2020
  10. Libby

    Libby 9-0

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2011
    Messages:
    76,520
    Likes Received:
    77,291
    Anyone hear the one about the Leeds fan who thought they'd been champions of Europe?
     
    #570
    Libby, Aug 3, 2020

  11. Saintmagic

    Saintmagic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2011
    Messages:
    19,055
    Likes Received:
    13,738
    What’s this about Leeds?
     
    #571
    Saintmagic, Aug 3, 2020
  12. Lovearsenalcock

    Lovearsenalcock Homeboy
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    72,315
    Likes Received:
    85,027
    To the Leeds **** who started that other joke thread

    just want to say

    I thought it was quite funny
     
    #572
    Lovearsenalcock, Aug 4, 2020
    lifecheshirewhite, Hoddle is a god and Diego like this.
  13. Diego

    Diego Lone Ranger

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2011
    Messages:
    46,301
    Likes Received:
    21,116
    Two nuns cycling back to the convent from the village.

    First nun "iv'e never come this way before"

    Second nun "neither have i, must be the cobbles"


    An oldie but still a goodie :grin:

    @lifecheshirewhite
     
    #573
    Diego, Aug 4, 2020
    lifecheshirewhite, PINKIE, Commachio and 1 other person like this.
  14. Lovearsenalcock

    Lovearsenalcock Homeboy
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    72,315
    Likes Received:
    85,027
    LolZ

    I can never remember a joke when I want to
     
    #574
    Lovearsenalcock, Aug 4, 2020
  15. Welshie

    Welshie Chavcunt fanboy dickhead

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    25,787
    Likes Received:
    23,946
    #575
    Welshie, Aug 4, 2020
    Lovearsenalcock, The Ginger Marks, Quesadaad and 2 others like this.
  16. Libby

    Libby 9-0

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2011
    Messages:
    76,520
    Likes Received:
    77,291
    Ffs <laugh>
     
    #576
    Libby, Aug 4, 2020
    Lovearsenalcock likes this.
  17. Sucky

    Sucky peoples champ & forum saviour

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2013
    Messages:
    94,808
    Likes Received:
    76,446
    What do you call a magician who's lost his magic?


    Ian


    Im here all week
     
    #577
    Sucky, Aug 4, 2020
    gooner4ever and Lovearsenalcock like this.
  18. Schlem Boogerman

    Schlem Boogerman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    11,529
    Likes Received:
    11,832
    #578
    Schlem Boogerman, Aug 4, 2020
  19. Tobes

    Tobes Warden
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2012
    Messages:
    72,888
    Likes Received:
    57,325
    #579
    Tobes, Aug 4, 2020
  20. Schlem Boogerman

    Schlem Boogerman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    11,529
    Likes Received:
    11,832
    That had a chance of happening...
     
    #580
    Schlem Boogerman, Aug 4, 2020
Page 29 of 41
: Comm uses forklift to trim nose hair

Share This Page