Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
I got sacked from my old job as a weather presenter.
I left under a cloud but I soon got a new job working with explosives in a quarry and I'm having a right blast.
I left under a cloud but I soon got a new job working with explosives in a quarry and I'm having a right blast.
Grandma’s in 2065
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After landing my new job as a Asda greeter, I lasted less than a day. Here's what happened:
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, decidedly unattractive, woman walked into the store along with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to Asda."
I then said, "Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Don't be f*cking stupid. Of course they aren't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"
I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone f*cked you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Asda."
17 year old arrested on bus in Glasgow after accessing P*rnhub using a VPN.
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