1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,920
    Likes Received:
    295,247
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36681
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,920
    Likes Received:
    295,247
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36682
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,920
    Likes Received:
    295,247
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36683
    antipodean exile likes this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,920
    Likes Received:
    295,247
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36684
  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,868
    Likes Received:
    34,132
  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,868
    Likes Received:
    34,132
  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,868
    Likes Received:
    34,132
  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,868
    Likes Received:
    34,132
  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,868
    Likes Received:
    34,132
  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,868
    Likes Received:
    34,132

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,920
    Likes Received:
    295,247
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36691
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,920
    Likes Received:
    295,247
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36692
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,920
    Likes Received:
    295,247
    Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office:
    When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, "Knicker Stitcher, i sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs."
    The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave him £80 a week unemployment pay.
    Mick was next in and when asked his occupation replied. "Diesel Fitter."
    Since a diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick £160 a week.
    When Paddy found out he was furious.
    He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
    The clerk explained....
    "Knicker Stitchers are unskilled labour and Diesel Fitters are skilled labour."
    "What skill?" Yelled Paddy.
    'I sew da elastic on da knickers and thongs, then Mick puts 'em over his head and says:
    "Yep, diesel fitter."
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36693
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,920
    Likes Received:
    295,247
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36694
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,920
    Likes Received:
    295,247
    Just when I'm losing faith in society I see a little old lady smile and give up her seat on the bus to a pregnant man with a beard
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36695
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,920
    Likes Received:
    295,247
    Sad news, the inventor of Chinese Whispers has died.

    May he test tinned peas.......
     
    #36696
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,920
    Likes Received:
    295,247
    “Waiter, I would like the cold soup please“

    “It’s Gazpacho sir!” “Ok Gazpacho, can I have the cold soup please.”
     
    #36697

Share This Page