Off Topic Jokes thread

[Wooperts_duck]

My grandfather drowned in a vat of beer at the brewery he worked in.

It took him 3 hours to die, it would have been quicker but he kept getting out to go to the toilet

 

[Wooperts_duck]

TIRAMASHOE....

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[Wooperts_duck]

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[Wooperts_duck]

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[antipodean exile]

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[antipodean exile]

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[antipodean exile]

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[antipodean exile]

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[antipodean exile]

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[antipodean exile]

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[Wooperts_duck]

This is how rumours start....

I saw an Army officer with 5 of his cadets in a hair dressers earlier.

He said to the barber "Can you shave my privates please"

 

[Wooperts_duck]

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[Wooperts_duck]

Offered to take my fiancé of ten years up the aisle.

She was strangely miffed when we came back from the supermarket with a chainsaw, novelty fridge magnets and an inflatable kayak....

 

[Wooperts_duck]

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[Wooperts_duck]

You know of Alan Turing, who cracked the Enigma code in WW2.

But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided Alan and his team with refreshments and food...

 

[Wooperts_duck]

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[Wooperts_duck]

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[Wooperts_duck]

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