Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
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- There was an old woman from Leeds
- Who swallowed a packet of seeds
- In less than an hour
- Her tits were in flower
- And her vagina was covered in weeds
- My scouser cousin"s girlfriend had a baby today.
- They"re so proud of him.
- He"s the only one in the family who"s been inside for less than nine months.
- Year 2 class in Bradford comes in from playtime.
- Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at playtime?"
- Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."
- The teacher says, "That"s good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write "sand" correctly, I"ll give you a chocolate Hobnob."
- She does and gets a chocolate Hobnob.
- The teacher asks Michael what he did at playtime.Michael says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."
- The teacher says, "Good. If you write "box" correctly on the blackboard, I"ll give you a chocolate Hobnob."Michael does, and gets a chocolate Hobnob.
- Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at playtime.
- He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Michael, but they threw rocks at me."
- The teacher says, "Threw rocks at you?
- That sounds like blatant racial discrimination.
- If you can go to the blackboard and write "blatant racial discrimination" I"ll give you a chocolate Hobnob."
I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.