In light of the proposed merger between Asda and Sainsbury's it has just been announced that Poundstretcher and Marks & Spencer's are to merge too.
It will now be known as Stretch Marks.
It will now be known as Stretch Marks.
Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
-
Please bear with us on the new site integration and fixing any known bugs over the coming days. If you can not log in please try resetting your password and check your spam box. If you have tried these steps and are still struggling email [email protected] with your username/registered email address
-
Heard the sad news today. The man who invented Predictive Text has pasted away. His funfair is next monkey......
- Home owners are being warned about three keys that have been proven to open 72% of house doors,
- 86% of motor vehicles and
- 91% of padlocks.
- The police have called them pie-keys, dar-keys and pac-keys.
- The US and British Navy were recently on manoeuvres in the Persian gulf.
- The communications officer on the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise sent a radio message to the British carrier HMS Illustrious: "And how"s the second biggest Navy in the world today then?"
- To which the Illustrious officer responded:
- "Fine. How"s the second best?"
- The USS Enterprise did not reply.
Took the Mrs to Subway today, I asked the girl to make me a sandwich, she said, "Yes, no problem," I turned to the wife and said, "Now, how f*ckin hard was that?"
I went to the card shop yesterday and said, "Do you sell bereavement cards?"
"Yes we do." replied the assistant.
"Good," I said, "could I exchange this 'Get Well Soon' card for one?"
"Yes we do." replied the assistant.
"Good," I said, "could I exchange this 'Get Well Soon' card for one?"
"Lucy, in the sky, with diamonds."
John Lennon was f*cking rubbish at Cluedo.
John Lennon was f*cking rubbish at Cluedo.