I'm combining Easter and April Fools day this year.
I'm sending the kids out to look for Easter Eggs I haven't hidden.
I'm sending the kids out to look for Easter Eggs I haven't hidden.
Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
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- How do you know if a chinese man robbed your house?
- Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway
- What is the biggest problem for an atheist ?
- No one to talk to during orgasm.
Cigarettes and alcohol have warning labels on them because they are addictive, dangerous and destroy lives.
And yet women are just allowed to roam about freely!
And yet women are just allowed to roam about freely!
Winston meets Chalky dressed to the nines one morning. Sunday best, bling, big cigar. The whole nine yards.
'Mon!' Exclaims Winston. 'Whatchoo doin' swaggerin' around aaaal dressed up like dis?'
'I's been to see Docta,' Beamed Chalky. 'Docta say, I is Im-po-tant'.
'Mon!' Exclaims Winston. 'Whatchoo doin' swaggerin' around aaaal dressed up like dis?'
'I's been to see Docta,' Beamed Chalky. 'Docta say, I is Im-po-tant'.
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- Roses are red,
- Violets are blue,
- I"m using my hand,But I"m thinking of you.
- When I was a kid I was very ill in hospital and Gary Glitter came to visit me.
- I was touched.
- So Sting is able to shag his wife for five hours without going off.
- I know how he feels.
- My wife is no oil painting either.
- I got into an argument with this thug in the pub.
- Anyway, I backed away, but as I was leaving he shouted, "I know where you live."
- I was really worried for a while, but it turned out he works for Royal Mail Parcelforce, so his threat almost certainly isn"t true.
- Two old men sitting in a retirement home chatting,
- "I"m full of aches and pains today Alf." "How do you feel?"
- Alf replies "Like a new born baby Fred"
- "Really?" Says Fred, "A newborn baby?"
- "Yes" says Alf, "No hair, no teeth, and I"ve just shat myself!"