I hate people who refuse to let go of the past.
Debt collectors are the worst!
Debt collectors are the worst!
Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
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Just been sacked from my job at the pet shop....got caught with my hand in the trill......
- I went to the doctors suffering from constipation,
- I told him, "I haven"t had a sh*t in 3 weeks,
- I just sit there, sometimes for hours, but nothing"
- He asks, "have you taken anything?"
- I replied, "only a book..."
- My mate in the pub had a DIY breathalyser:
- it was a bag that told him when he"d had too much to drink.
- I have no need for it though, I married one.
- If the answer is "Cock Robin!".... what is the question:-
- What"s that you"ve got up my arse Batman?
- I got a sweater for Christmas.
- I was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.
- A couple were having friends round for dinner and decided to go for a French evening, with snails etc.
- The man got the shopping list and volunteered to do the shopping, while his wife tidied up.
- On the way back from the shops he bumped into an old pal and they went for a pint or five.
- Half pissed and an hour and a half late, he staggers up to the garden gate.
- He quickly gets the bag of snails out, lines them up on the path and rings the bell.
- Before his wife can even think about moaning, the man looks at the snails and says....
- ."Come on you little f*ckers, get a move on, we"re never going to get ready at this f*cking rate!"
Paddy says to Mick, "I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different.
3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant.
2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant.
Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant.
Mick asks, "So what are you going to do this year?"
Paddy replies, "I'll take her with me."
3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant.
2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant.
Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant.
Mick asks, "So what are you going to do this year?"
Paddy replies, "I'll take her with me."
Still think I should've gone for a white shower head........
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Thousands of people have gathered outside Nelson Mandela house after the death of his wife.
Delboy and Rodney have told them all to f*ck off!
Delboy and Rodney have told them all to f*ck off!
The crime rate is so bad in Liverpool, that last week a bank robber was mugged on the way back to his getaway car!