Off Topic Jokes thread

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A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon, with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.
"That sure is a nice fire truck." The firefighter said, with admiration.
"Thanks." the girl replied.
The firefighter looked a little closer,the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
"Little partner," the firefighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar,
I think you could go faster. "
The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then,
I wouldn't have a siren!"
 
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  • Paddy asks Murphy if he wants any ***s when he goes on his holidays.
  • Murphy says "Yeah, cheers mate get me 200 Bensons."
  • Two weeks later Paddy comes home, sees Murphy in the pub and says, "I got your ***s, you owe me sixty-eight quid."
  • "For fcuk"s sake," said Murphy, "where did you go on holiday?"
  • Paddy says, "Butlins."
 
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