Commenting on a complaint from a Mr Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. "It"s possible Mr Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."(The Daily Telegraph)
The Met police found a bomb outside Finsbury park mosque. Luckily they managed to push it inside before it went off.
Prince Phillip and the Queen were dining in one of London"s top restaurants. The waiter comes over and asks what Phillip would like to order. "I"ll have two rare steaks my good fellow." Waiter, "Does sir mean two bloody steaks?" Phillip, "Yes quite right old chap, two bloody steaks." Queen, "And plenty of f*cking chips!"
A head nun goes to a grocers shop and asks for 122 bananas. The grocer says, "if you"re buying that many, its more economical to buy 144 in a box, I could give you a discount then." "Okay," replies the nun, "I suppose we could always eat the other 22."
