Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
A Catholic priest and an Imam were sitting in adjacent seats on an airplane. The Catholic priest was having his bacon sandwich while the Imam had a veggie burger. After a while, the priest turned to the Imam and asked,
"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you do not eat pork?"
The Imam responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."
The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten a bacon sandwich?"
"No" answered the Imam
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later the Imam spoke up and asked, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The Imam then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied, "Yes, on one occasion I was weak and broke the pledge of my faith."
The Imam nodded understandingly and remained silent for several minutes.
Finally, the Imam quietly observed, "Beats the s*it out of a bacon sandwich, doesn't it?"
"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you do not eat pork?"
The Imam responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."
The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten a bacon sandwich?"
"No" answered the Imam
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later the Imam spoke up and asked, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The Imam then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied, "Yes, on one occasion I was weak and broke the pledge of my faith."
The Imam nodded understandingly and remained silent for several minutes.
Finally, the Imam quietly observed, "Beats the s*it out of a bacon sandwich, doesn't it?"
Men with big penises are 85.9623858484% more likely to come up with stupid statistics.
It was such a tough area where I was brought up.
My first job was as a rear gunner on a milk float.
My first job was as a rear gunner on a milk float.
- I was in the shopping centre this morning when a man approached me, collecting for Alzhiemer"s.
- I said, "I"ve already given - don"t you remember?"
- Sad news reports are coming in that a whale, stranded on an English sandbank today, had to be put down despite a massive rescue attempt.
- Still, they were pretty fcuking daft to try to pick it up in the first place.
- What have Stamford Bridge and space got in common?
- Loads of stars and no atmosphere.
- My gran asked me to go round there earlier and help her in the garden.
- So I went round there and pushed her out the back door.