My wife suggested we play doctors and nurses, so I put her on a trolley and ignored her for two days...
The English are worried about the Euro being brought in because of loss of national identity and rising prices. In Scotland, people are just worried in case they have to close Poundstretcher.
An old man went up to a beautiful in a bikini and said..."I want to feel your tits....I"ll give you £10" "Get away from me you dirty old man" she replied. "OK let me feel your tits for £20 then" said the old guy. "NO.. get away from me.! " she said loudly. "Well what if I make it £50. will you let me feel your tits then?" There was a few moments silence as the girl thought about the £50, then she came to her senses and said again..."No get away from me." "Right...my final offer then." said the bloke, "A hundred pounds if you"ll let me feel your tits" She considers this and thinks "Well he is old...and a hundred pounds would be very handy"....."OK, I"ll let you do it for a hundred, ....but only for a minute though." she answered. She unclipped the hook at the front of her bikini and as the old guy filled his hands with her young firm breasts and began to fondle her , he started saying "OH MY GOD.....OH MY GOD...".over and over again. A little amused, the girl asked "Why do you keep saying Oh my god?" While he continued to feel her tits the old guy answered "OH MY GOD......Where am I ever going to get a hundred quid from???"
Just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife. I normally smoke Benson & Hedges but hey....a deal's a deal.