Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
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The joint Devon & Cornwall music festival has been cancelled.
Organisers could not agree if The Jam or Cream should be on first......
Organisers could not agree if The Jam or Cream should be on first......
I'm not saying it's rough where I live, but Aldi are selling Father's Day cards in packs of 5 !!
Scotland players ready for the World Cup.....
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My new girlfriend has just seen me in Asda stacking up boxes of washing powder.
She screamed "You lying toad - you told me you were a pilot in the Red Arrows".
I said "No I didn't....I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team".
She screamed "You lying toad - you told me you were a pilot in the Red Arrows".
I said "No I didn't....I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team".
Just heard the official song for England women's football world cup team.
Steam irons on a shirt.
Steam irons on a shirt.
Aren't people funny.
Walk into a library and start screaming and everyone tells you to stop it......but do it on an aeroplane and everyone joins in......
Walk into a library and start screaming and everyone tells you to stop it......but do it on an aeroplane and everyone joins in......
- Bloated, gassy feeling in your stomach with acidic belching.
- Been for a piss four times already, and you"re not even tipsy yet.
- Weird metallic taste in your mouth, even though you watched the barmaid pour it on draught.
- Hungover the next day, even though you were still perfectly coherent and co-ordinated when you went to bed.
- Carlsberg do do lager...
- An American and a Ukranian in front of the urinals.
- The American pulls out his huge cock and says proudly to the Ukranian:
- Buffalo Bill!
- The Ukranian pulls out three enormous cocks and says:
- Chernobyl!