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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #4341
    antipodean exile, Jan 13, 2018
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #4342
    antipodean exile, Jan 13, 2018
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • When Saddam Hussein was found guilty he was originally sentenced to be shot.
    • His last request was to name his own firing squad: He chose Lampard, Terry and Palmer from 12 yards
     
    #4343
    antipodean exile, Jan 13, 2018
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • Two eleven year old girls get chatting after their sex education lesson."Well, do you know what a penis is then?""I"m not sure, I"ll ask my Dad tonight."
    • So the young girl goes home and tells her dad that she"s had sex education and doesn"t know what a penis is.
    • Being a man of few words but lots of action, he drops his pants and points to him self. "This is a penis."
    • The next day the two girls meet up again."Did you find out what a penis is?"
    • "Yes, it"s like a prick but much smaller!"
     
    #4344
    antipodean exile, Jan 13, 2018
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Arsenal fans being forced to stay and watch the last couple of minutes at the Bournemouth game.

    please log in to view this image
     
    #4345
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 14, 2018
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4346
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 14, 2018
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4347
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 14, 2018
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4348
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 15, 2018
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Must be a nightmare to sing happy birthday to her !!
     
    #4349
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 16, 2018
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4350
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 16, 2018
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    So, Ryan Giggs is the new Wales manager.

    The Welsh FA has also confirmed they are looking for someone to take charge of the team for friendlies that Giggs can’t be arsed with.
     
    #4351
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 16, 2018
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Turn a regular sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday......
     
    #4352
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 16, 2018
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    What's the difference between Kim Jong Un and Dominoes?

    Dominoes can deliver a hot crispy Hawaiian in less than 20 minutes.
     
    #4353
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 16, 2018
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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    What's the difference between Herpes and true love.
    Herpes is forever!!!!!!
     
    #4354
    antipodean exile, Jan 17, 2018
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4355
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 17, 2018
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4356
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 18, 2018
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  17. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    My wifes sister knocked me out yesterday.
    I was so f*cking angry!!
    What sort of sick bitch puts chloroform on her dirty knickers!!!!
    My Wife apparently.......
     
    #4357
    antipodean exile, Jan 19, 2018
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  18. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #4358
    antipodean exile, Jan 19, 2018
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  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #4359
    antipodean exile, Jan 19, 2018
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  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #4360
    antipodean exile, Jan 19, 2018
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