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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #37241
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Tonight I will be reorganising my bottles of red wine.

    It’s time for a Cabernet reshuffle....
     
    #37242
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My dad made millions selling refrigerators, but came to a sticky end.

    He was a fridge magnate....
     
    #37243
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Our church's music director is fundraising to replace his instrument.


    Organ donors required.
     
    #37244
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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #37245
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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Man United ready for the Champions League tonight…

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    #37246
  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    AT 50MPH this is- WAIT- what !!!
     
    #37247
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  8. antipodean exile

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    #37248
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  9. antipodean exile

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    #37249
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  10. antipodean exile

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    #37250

  11. antipodean exile

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    #37251
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  12. antipodean exile

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    #37252
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #37253
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #37254
  15. Wooperts_duck

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    #37255
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    An old man crashed his car into a Ferrari. The owner jumps out and confronts the old man, saying, “Give me $10,000 cash or you'll be sorry you crossed me!”
    The old man replies, “Woah, wait buddy, I don’t have that much money, but let me call my son - he trains dolphins.”
    The old man dials his son. As he is about to speak, the owner of Ferrari yanks the phone out of his hand and says, “So you train dolphins? Well, your old man just hit and damaged my car. You bring me $10,000 or I’m gonna whoop his and your ass."
    The son answers, “Okay, buddy, give me 15 minutes and I’ll be there.”
    In exactly 15 minutes, the son pulls up in a Jeep. He jumps out and slaps the Ferrari owner about a bit, then walks over to his father and says,

    “Dad, I train Navy SEALs, not dolphins.”
     
    #37256
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  17. Wooperts_duck

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  18. Wooperts_duck

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    #37258
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  19. Wooperts_duck

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    #37259
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  20. Wooperts_duck

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