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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    My mate quit his job at BMW.

    He of course gave no indication that he was leaving.
     
    #33243
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Two Italian men get on a bus, sit down, and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

    "Emma come first, den I come, den two asses come together. I come once-a-more, two asses, they come together again, I come again and pee twice, then I come one lasta time."

    "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady, indignantly.
    "In this country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives !"

    "Hey . . . . coola down, lady" said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa ? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
     
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  11. antipodean exile

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  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  15. antipodean exile

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  16. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    "My wife said to me in bed, ‘God, your feet are cold’. “I replied”, "You can call me brian in bed, dear"
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    Brian Clough, Legend !

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  17. antipodean exile

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  18. antipodean exile

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  19. antipodean exile

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  20. antipodean exile

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