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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  5. antipodean exile

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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  8. antipodean exile

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  9. antipodean exile

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  10. antipodean exile

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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    This man in a Ford Granada pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls: "Hey, you got a telephone in there?" The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do." "I got one too... see?" "Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice." Then the man in the Granada says, "You got a fax machine?" "Why, actually, yes, I do." "I do too! See? It's right here!" "Uh-huh." The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Granada says, "So, do YOU have a double bed in back there?" And the guy in the Rolls says, "NO! Do you?" "Yep, got my double bed right in back here — see?!" The light turns and the man in the Granada takes off. Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he goes immediately to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car. About two weeks later, the job is finally done and he picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Granada. He finally finds it parked alongside the road so he pulls his Rolls up next to it. The windows on the Granada are all fogged up and he feels a little awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Granada. The man in the Granada finally opens the window a crack and peeks out. The guy in the Rolls says, "Hey. Remember me?" "Yeah, yeah, I remember you. What's up?" "Check this out — I got a double bed installed in my Rolls." And the man in the Granada says, "YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT?!"
     
    #33211
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  13. antipodean exile

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  14. antipodean exile

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  15. antipodean exile

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  16. antipodean exile

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  17. antipodean exile

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  18. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    When you wake up to hear the man who most of your cabinet insulted is now the President and has refused to deal with you. His best mate, the richest man in the world, Elon Musk, has said he's coming for you and his other mate is the leader of a rival party.
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  19. antipodean exile

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  20. antipodean exile

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