Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
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Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful,
big breasted, nude model danced before them.
Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would
not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.
Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up....
and all the other bells started to ring
big breasted, nude model danced before them.
Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would
not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.
Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up....
and all the other bells started to ring
People are always complaining about auto correct but it has been around for centuries I got mine when I married my wife.
One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road.
He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling.
"What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked.
"Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back.
"Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."
He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling.
"What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked.
"Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back.
"Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."
The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54
The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57
The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41
The best soccer player in the world, Maradona, died at the age of 60
And then..
KFC inventor died at 94
Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88
Cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102
The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake
Hennessy cognac, Irish inventor died at 98
How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?
The rabbit is always jumping, but it lives for only 2 years. The turtle that doesn't exercise at all, lives 400 years.
So ... Have a drink ... Take a nap ...
And IF you wake up, have bacon & eggs!
The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57
The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41
The best soccer player in the world, Maradona, died at the age of 60
And then..
KFC inventor died at 94
Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88
Cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102
The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake
Hennessy cognac, Irish inventor died at 98
How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?
The rabbit is always jumping, but it lives for only 2 years. The turtle that doesn't exercise at all, lives 400 years.
So ... Have a drink ... Take a nap ...
And IF you wake up, have bacon & eggs!