We received about 12 inches of beautiful fluffy white snow yesterday and ....... 8:00 am - I made a snowman. 8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15 - So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere. 8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead. 8:22 - The transgender man.. woman...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts. 8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not used to decorate snow figures. 8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white. 8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive. 8:37 - Then I was accused of using a black face on the snowperson 8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered 8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended. 8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role. 8:43 - The 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction. 8:45 - TV news crew from CBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I replied "Snowballs" and am now a sexist. 9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. 9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services. 9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be arrested. 9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media. 10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman Moral: There isn’t a moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes!
I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business. This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen". I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you." Cost me 6 stitches...but, When you're seventy six...............who cares?
I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs." The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?" I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now." Cost me 6 more stitches, but... When you're seventy six..............who cares?
