I Need A Laugh - Thread

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I had one of those "awkward" moments last night. I was telling that old joke about "what do you do if you find an epileptic in the bath?" the answer to which is, of course, "thrown in your dirty washing and some soap suds." Well, a bloke standing behind me in the pub tapped me on the shoulder and said,

"Oi, mind what you say, mate! My best friend died whilst having an epileptic fit in the bath."

Naturally, I felt very ashamed at telling such a callous joke within earshot of this gentleman, and I really wasn't sure what to say. For want of anything better, I asked, "How did he die? Did he drown?"

"No," said the bloke, "he choked on a sock."

I had a fight with a guy with epilepsy. Put him on the floor in a flash.
 
Tottenham could be set for a shock move for free agent Carlton Cole, 29, after the former West Ham striker was reported to have featured in a behind-closed-doors friendly for Andre Villas-Boas's side. Metro

What a load of bullshit! <laugh> <ok>
 
Lesson on how to drive a moped!
[video]http://biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=41302[/video]
 
Sam Allardyce is set to have a medical at West Ham United.............. after agreeing to spend £5m on Stewart Downing.
 
Stewart Downing was asked why he'd consider leaving 'Pool for WHU, and he told reporters,

"Well, Big Sam told me that he'll always pull me off at half-time. At 'Pool, the most you get from Brent is a quarter of orange."
 
Sam Allardyce is set to have a medical at West Ham United.............. after agreeing to spend £5m on Stewart Downing.

After how well they linked up at Liverpool, who could blame Allardyce for wanting to reunite Downing and Carroll :D

To be fair, it is an idea that works on paper, maybe a better manager than Dalglish can achieve it on the pitch.