HDM

The Horror. Mz Kempton puts ketchup on almost everything, but if you put a bottle ketchup on on the roast dinner table, she'd stab you in the eye with her fork. She's like that.

 

My stepdad put ketchup on everything, including roast dinners.

I wanted to stab him in the eyes every time I saw it.

 

I might change mine, you know. Biggus Dickus, or Curious Tortoise, something like that.

 

Maybe they should bring back the lists of people found guilty of motoring offences, weekly reviews of the East Hull Crown Green Bowls league, and proceedings of the last Welton & District WI meeting. Local news wasn't much more fascinating back then, I'm afraid.

Truth is, nowt much happens in provincial cities and towns and the local press have to find stories that people will read - and, increasingly, click on. It is articles that generate clicks that allow local papers to fund the remaining important work they do - like reporting on Council initiatives, hailing successful businesses, celebrating people doing good things, etc.

The alternative is extinction, which doesn't serve communities particularly well either.

 

Mz Kempton's step Dad puts salt and lots of it, on his Chinese. He's a ****ing idiot.

 

Does he know what's in soy sauce?

 

As many as that?

 

He puts loads of that on as well. He had a stroke a couple of years ago. Shocker

 

A recent favourite: Daft bint buys a toilet and hand basin set for 250 notes to put in her understairs cupboard expecting the shop she bought it from to plumb it in from scratch for that price. That’s not the deal obvs, so she keeps it in the box for a year and a half before moaning to Hull Life. They contact the shop in a state of vicarious righteous indignation and receive the not unreasonable reply of ‘we were unaware that she couldn’t get it fitted however if she returns it boxed, we’ll refund her money.

Still got the miserable photo, the life’s not fair bleating and the criticism of the shop however even though there was no one to blame other than herself.

 

Iv'e not read 'The Fail' for a few years, this sounds like it's turned into The Sunday Sport. I might have to start getting it.

 

You'd like it, its full of ****s.

 

Erm, thanks

 

Hull Live today - 11 of the best Hull put downs

Worrawally
Mardy
Wezzie
Nebby
Snickersneeze
Twerp
Mingin
Bray ya
Shut ya cake ole
Knucklehead
Twazzock

A new low?

 

What about

- puff
- queer **** (also soft ****, daft ****, silly ****, tight* ****(*not a compliment))
-get to ****
-daft lad, daft lass

 

Wazark or Wazzock - not sure on sp. - used quite a lot as a kid

Buggerlugs (could be affectionate though)

Flamer

 

worrasillycunt

 

Anyone heard 'mucktub' being used? Think it was directed at young children?

 

'Twerp'

You always know you're in Hull when you hear the word 'twerp'

 

Ha, Twerp and Twazzock, hardly f***ing ever, daft c***.
Bezzock more like.