BREAKING NEWS - The Russians are believed to be behind the revelation that Jeremy Corbyn has been secretly working for the Conservative party for decades. As an infiltrator he has managed to vote against Labour policy hundreds of times and taken on a pretence that he is left wing but harmlessly cuddly. This finally enabled him to be elected party leader as Momentum's useful idiot. His bumbling ineffective charade skilfully hid his master's agenda to make the Labour Party unelectable for several terms.
In recognition of his outstanding service to the Conservative party, it has arranged to present him with a new spade next Friday to coincide with his retirement party.
In recognition of his outstanding service to the Conservative party, it has arranged to present him with a new spade next Friday to coincide with his retirement party.