I still take my grown up sons to the Nottingham Theatre Royal panto every year and heckle the lead performer who's usually a comedian. The idea is to stop them in their tracks during the performance ...
.... they usually wipe the floor with us
We were disappointed when Joe Pasquale was announced but he was brilliant in his role and also cut us to pieces.
(On again this year, in Snow White, so it's Round Two.)
However we usually manage to land a knockout punch at least once. We did it with Christopher Biggins who was a master of his craft and fended us off expertly as Widow Twanky. But when he got some children up for a bit of 'audience participation' I nailed him.
He had a cute little lad, with curly blond locks, up on stage.
"What's your name?", asks Biggins kneeling down with his arm around him.
"Err David."
"How old are you David?"
"Five and a half."
"And where do you live?", says Biggins in a massive frock, full make up and gay as can be.
Me,
"DAVID DON'T TELL HIM!!!"
The audience cheers, Biggins hangs his head and absolutely shakes with laughter. As he's struggling to compose himself, the lights come onto our box and we take a bow .... more cheering.
Biggins stands back up, wipes away the tears and returns the bow ... more cheering.
The performance carries on and we join in with the songs and all the cheering and booing. All at once the lights go on us again, the curtain at the back of our box opens ... there are half a dozen of the child dancers, from the chorus line, armed with super-soaker water pistols.
The little bastards absolutely f**king soaked us .... huge cheers from the audience!!!
We had no option but to take our punishment, in good grace, and take another bow ...
... Biggins looked radiant as he waved to us and grinned the grin of the victor
