Off Topic Compare the cheese to no 10 thread

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There was a lovely young lady in there last night - NOT. She also had her infant and mother in there. Both were ****e-faced (not the baby - well possibly). The mother eventually staggered out pushing the pram, leaving the daughter in there. She then came and stood next to me at the bar, initially addressing the incoming and outgoing barmaids (not sexist). She asked them both a question, which I didn't hear. They shook their heads. She then turned to me and was going to say something, but turned away. She then turned back and said "You haven't got a tampon by any chance, have you?". I just ****ing looked at her with disbelief on my face. She then asked the bar staff for "a bog roll" she'd have to "bung it up somehow". I told her to go home and sort herself out, to which she replied "You can't talk to me like that". ****ing hell <doh> They wouldn't serve her any more and she just sat there asking for a shot of sambuca over and over again. Her equally drunken partner eventually came in and dragged her out. You couldn't ****ing make it up.
Missed out there. Lesson for you, always keep some bunnies on you to assist a damsel in distress. You could have been in there - so to speak.
 
I've just placed a Frenchman <yikes> Doing a favour for a diagnostics client who wanted someone in supply chain. This guy applied. Lives in manc as well. He seemed a really pleasant guy from the off, so not the usual profile of frog. I called him to offer him the job and he was absolutely delighted. We were chatting and he asked if I liked football, so I obviously told him I was a massive Red. He squealed down the phone that he supported Liverpool as well. He was born a St Etienne, but switched after the match at Anfield that he watched when he was 6. I explained I was there on a minibus off mates from university. I couldn't get the ****er off the phone <laugh>
 
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I've just placed a Frenchman <yikes> Doing a favour for a diagnostics client who wanted someone in supply chain. This guy applied. Lives in manc as well. He seemed a really pleasant guy from the off, so not the usual profile of frog. I called him to offer him the job and he was absolutely delighted. We were chatting and he asked if I liked football, so I obviously told him I was a massive Red. He squealed down the phone that he supported Liverpool as well. He was born a St Etienne, but switched after the match at Anfield that he watched when he was 6. I explained I was there on a minibus off mates from university. I couldn't get the ****er off the phone <laugh>



See they're not all bad. That's at least two francophones you like now.
 
I've just placed a Frenchman <yikes> Doing a favour for a diagnostics client who wanted someone in supply chain. This guy applied. Lives in manc as well. He seemed a really pleasant guy from the off, so not the usual profile of frog. I called him to offer him the job and he was absolutely delighted. We were chatting and he asked if I liked football, so I obviously told him I was a massive Red. He squealed down the phone that he supported Liverpool as well. He was born a St Etienne, but switched after the match at Anfield that he watched when he was 6. I explained I was there on a minibus off mates from university. I couldn't get the ****er off the phone <laugh>
"Placing a Frenchman" really ought to be a euphemism for something.
 
Some suggestions:

Bending over for a German
Pulling out too soon
Having sex with a jar of minced garlic
Getting aroused by the sight of female body hair
 
Cheese couldn't get the licence for early beer. There has been some police action in there over the last couple of weeks. Plenty of tins in and I can make a better bacon butty than anyone else, so **** 'em <ok>
 
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