Sorry, it's the psychic in me revealing your next name when Jonjo Shelvey rejoins the club to take us to the next level and you call yourself Zanjonjo. Don't worry, that's a few years away still
There was a lovely young lady in there last night - NOT. She also had her infant and mother in there. Both were ****e-faced (not the baby - well possibly). The mother eventually staggered out pushing the pram, leaving the daughter in there. She then came and stood next to me at the bar, initially addressing the incoming and outgoing barmaids (not sexist). She asked them both a question, which I didn't hear. They shook their heads. She then turned to me and was going to say something, but turned away. She then turned back and said "You haven't got a tampon by any chance, have you?". I just ****ing looked at her with disbelief on my face. She then asked the bar staff for "a bog roll" she'd have to "bung it up somehow". I told her to go home and sort herself out, to which she replied "You can't talk to me like that". ****ing hell They wouldn't serve her any more and she just sat there asking for a shot of sambuca over and over again. Her equally drunken partner eventually came in and dragged her out. You couldn't ****ing make it up.
If you had any tampons on you, would you have given them to her? Incidentally, I do have tampons in my car. So if a woman asked me I could say "Why, as a matter of fact, I do have tampons handy".
