Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

Is this some sort of joke thread? Here's one then................

How do you know when your sister is on her period?

Your dad's cock tastes funny.

No, you **** off.

 

I like you Tone

 

Cheers, like.

 

Shame really, as it's a **** record.

 

Me too, I'd rather it was Eduardo Boggins esq but, The Gull was usually entertaining, the bet welching **** him

 

Flat earth my arse....



.

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A pistol a stun gun a cross bow a kitchen knife an axe

and to top it all a catapult !!!

P&O passenger carrying 'bag of pain' arrived in Hull with 'Prime Minister's number'
A trove of weapons was discovered in his bags including a pistol, stun gun, pepper spray, axe, kitchen knife, catapult, multi-tool, crossbow and 40 mobile phones
A man was caught with a hoard of weapons in his bags after coming to Hull from Rotterdam on a P&O ferry.

Emanuel Krause, 42, arrived off the ferry on May 13, but appeared "unkempt" and was pulling a trolley bag and carrying plastic bags off the boat.

When Border Force checked Krause's Polish passport, he did not appear to be the same man as in the image due to his appearance and officers proceeded to search him.

A discovery was made of a trove of weapons in his bags including a pistol, stun gun, pepper spray, axe, kitchen knife, catapult, multi-tool, crossbow and 40 mobile phones.
Krause told officers that the weapons were for self-protection and it later emerged that he was suffering from mental health problems after he claimed to have Prime Minister Boris Johnson's telephone number.

Prosecuting in Hull Crown Court, Mr Quinn said that the "forward venting gun" was filled with blanks but was in working order, along with the stun gun and pepper spray that looked like a pistol.

"The weapons were genuine and in working order with ammunition, but has not been used and the defendant claimed that he had them on him for personal protection," he said.

"The defendant said that he had travelled to the country to see his wife - who he had not seen for 18 months.

"But the woman had taken a restraining order out on him and they were not married - she only knew him from working together and had filed for harassment in 2018, that still continues to the present day.

"The defendant purported to have contact numbers for the prime minister and was detained under mental health provisions.

"He has been at a mental health unit since May 16, detained under s.2."

No defence statement was offered.

Judge Mark Bury took into account that Krause had mental health problems that he had been medicated for including manic delusions, thought disorder, self-neglect and schizoaffective self disorder.

He gave Krause a sentence of six months suspended for 12 months and ordered that he be deported to Poland.

"You had some disconcerting items on you - a pistol intending to cause pain, a stun gun, again a none lethal item but that can cause painful electric pulses, pepper spray, an axe, knife, crossbow, catapult and bizarrely 40 mobile phones," he said.

"You say the items were for your own protection - I can follow that in relation to the firearms, but the axe and crossbow are not so easy to categorise as protective weapons.

"On your side, none of the items were used and you said the items were protection only and not for aggression and you are a man in mid years with no record.

"More importantly is your mental health. Your medication needs to continue as it seems unless you are medicated, you are liable to relapse."

 

You do wonder at the security that allowed him ON to the boat with his trinkets.

 

I was once on a military ship going across the Irish Sea when at 2am a voice came over the tannoy.
“This is the IRA - This is the IRA - we have hijacked this ship - we demand £20,000 and six papachutes!”

 

Those wouldn't last long in the water.

 

INCOMING.

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Wonder if they’re wrinkled for authenticity?

 

Has CI gone completely now then?

 

Christ is it that long since I had a look!!!

 

The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe.

 

No doubt you're one of them.

 

I would imagine there are a few 'members' who wouldn't mind examining the Deutschland region?