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Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

Discussion in 'Hull City' started by Dr.Stanley O'Google, HCFC, Nov 20, 2015.

  1. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    The Doctor said that for the good of my health I should get a bicycle and cut the carbs.

    Who am I to argue with the experts?



    .

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    #8021
  2. Ron Burguvdy

    Ron Burguvdy Well-Known Member

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  3. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    #8023
  4. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #8024
  5. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    I lift with my hands.
     
    #8025
  6. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #8026
  7. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    Sorry I don't know, but he does look like a knobhead.
     
    #8027
  8. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    Maybe it'd void the warranty if it got wet?


    please log in to view this image
     
    #8028
  9. Ron Burguvdy

    Ron Burguvdy Well-Known Member

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  10. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    £ 1000000 gold toilet theft.
    Police say they have nothing to go on.
     
    #8030
    Ron Burguvdy and tigerscanada like this.

  11. tigerscanada

    tigerscanada Well-Known Member

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    It went missing during a poker game at Buck' Palace.
    Someone got a Royal flush !
     
    #8031
  12. Ullofaman

    Ullofaman Well-Known Member

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    OK, I came across this very very late at night - I thought that either I had just died and this is the welcoming committee to Hell or I have unknowingly taken some mind-altering substance, or if I was on that stage holding a mirror, I guess I would see no reflection other than my own. Riverdance it ain't!!
     
    #8032
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  13. tigerscanada

    tigerscanada Well-Known Member

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    Well I'll be damned. Someone finally posted the marketing video for the Allams' philosophical message...
    "Dance should be as free as the air we breathe".
    I may have some of the words mangled ?
     
    #8033
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2019
  14. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    I enjoyed that. Good stuff :emoticon-0148-yes:
     
    #8034
  15. Ron Burguvdy

    Ron Burguvdy Well-Known Member

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  16. John Ex Aberdeen now E.R.

    John Ex Aberdeen now E.R. Well-Known Member

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    Very strange, I guess Mirror dance is an apt name for it. I assume Russian from the writing, and I must stay this demonstrate their personality quite well. Very serious and humourless.
     
    #8036
  17. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    #8037
    Ron Burguvdy likes this.
  18. Oregon Tiger

    Oregon Tiger Well-Known Member

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    Vandals broke the windows on the changing rooms at Newnham College. The Police are looking into it.
     
    #8038
  19. Des Head

    Des Head Well-Known Member

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    From reddit : I was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife.

    My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you.

    Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"?

    I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.

    Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife.

    "My what?"

    Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please.

    "Wtf is a poop knife?"

    Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it.

    He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my ****ed up family with their ****ed up bowels. FML.

    I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes.

    She will be getting her own utility knife now.
     
    #8039
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  20. originallambrettaman

    originallambrettaman Mod Moderator
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