Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

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HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY!!!
1. Make food;
2. Sleep with him;
3. Don't ask questions;
4. Leave him alone.
HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY:
1. Be Friends
2. Companion
3. Lover
4. Beautiful
5. Charming
6. Good in the kitchen
7. Atlético
8. Electrician
9. Plumber
10. Mechanic
11. Carpenter
12. Decorator
13. Stylist
15. Poet
16. Psychologist
17. Bug zapper
18. Psychiatrist
19. Good-natured
20. A good listener
21. Organizer
22. A good father
23. Smelly
24. Empathetic
25. Cult
26. Sensitive
27. Attentive
28. Seductive
29. Smart
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Hot
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Brave
40. Determined
41. True
42. Insurance
43. Check everything
44. Punching bag
45. Lonely without friends
DON'T FORGET TO:
46. Praise often
47. Give gifts
48. Be honest
49. Opening the car door
50. Not to stress her
51. Don't look at other women.
52. Lift the toilet lid.
53. Being a computer teacher.
54. Don't snore.
55. Do not dry your feet with a towel.
AND:
56. Never forget:
* her birthday
* dating anniversary
* the anniversary of the first kiss
* the anniversary of the first time they met
*her mother's birthday
* Valentine's Day and being faithful
THEY HATE...
1. Who responds
2. Who remains silent
3. You lie to them
4. Be sincere
5. Worries
6. Who doesn't care
7. Be jealous
8. Don't be jealous
BONUS:
Never forget, even if you are right, you are always wrong.
 

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman arrived at a railway station in a state of inebriation just as the train was about to leave. A helpful porter managed to get The Englishman and The Scotsman aboard as The train pulled out, then he turned to the Irishman and said, 'I'm sorry, sir, that I couldn't get you aboard the train.'
'My friends will be sorry too,' said the Irishman, 'they just came to see me off.'