What are you doing?

I can only guess who that's aimed at.....

His Fender isn't the only thing that's getting a good strumming when he's performing down the Dog and Duck

 

It's two short planks.

 

Better of the two poisons.

 

... my other half's late Great Grandad (bless him) when he was alive asked her brother's missus (a raging veggie - doesn't wear leather shoes etc) whether she would fancy a slice of ham if he cut all the fat off ... ... he really didn't get it ... but it was hilarious watching her attempting a tactful decline whilst trying not to offend the old boy ...

 

Oh ffs!

I know that you Northern types like to strangle the Queen's English (that was God-given to us Southerners), but even you must have worked out that it's a figure of speech, not to be taken literally?

 

No it's not a figure of speech.

"In an iron lung" would have been correct. "On an iron lung" is the kind of thing a moron would say.

The lads have asked me to highlight when your "jokes" go wrong.

 

**** me you're in for a busy night!

 

Very much so.

I have no intention of giving up, much prefer it to smoking ***s. Haven't been interested in smoking since I started vaping.

I make my own e-juice and coils etc. so I get to play around with various flavours/strengths.

I really enjoy it personally.

 

"I'm on 20 a day."

"I'm on tablets."

"I'm going on the lash tonight!"

"I'm on a dialysis machine."

These are examples that came to mind without any real thought.

You've well and truly ****ed up the wum attempt this time, Lightning! It's all well and good trying to be clever - you've tried that with me before and failed - but over such a schoolboy error!

What are you on?

[NB: for those of you who take what I write literally and then attempt to wum off your idiotic belief, please note that my last sentence was written in the full knowledge that I have just been castigating Lightning about his failure to grasp the colloquial use of "on")

 

That was easier than I expected.

"Why are you doing this Stan?"

 

On the contrary, it's more a case of "Fair enough, HIAG. You've undone me, mate. I couldn't see it before you pointed it out, but now that you have I am just about clever enough to realise that, should I continue along this line of attack, I am going to be made out to be a complete ****wit, so I am now going to play the I-have-been-stringing-you-along-all-the-time card, in a desperate attempt to extricate myself from this quagmire of ****wittedness."

 

HIAG II: A Small Man on the Edge



PS the bit in bold is very sharp

 

I can see that HIAG is taking another pasting today.

Odds on that he's claiming victory too

 

I saw the typo, but it's you saying it, not me!

 

This is boss, I know HIAG is getting beasted again but can't read his squirming, all I'm seeing is the right hooks being landed

 

He does throw a good face though.

 

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Laughing more at the dancing friend in the back ground defo footy hooligans

 

In your dreams no doubt Skiddy.