With respect, Ak, I've been waiting for service for some bloody time! I can see you're busy with all these silly-arse crappocinos, lartay (what in the name of Graham Taylor is that anyway?)
I'm hearing orders for half this and half that, I don't like the milk in my tea to be anything other than tepid... Cinnamon in a drink? Do me a favour!! Marshmallows??
All I want is a decent strong cup of Rosie. I know full well that these days I should be asking for mocca-chocca-cafe-lartay with a dash of rosewater topped with Opal Fruits, a poached egg and a rasher of bacon or some bloody thing, but whatever happened to a decent cup of Rosie Lee?
That

was directed against your fussy clientele, Ak, not you. In fact, if you don't mind I'll address them...
<clears throat>
Oi! Oi! SORT YOURSELVES ART YOU BUNCH OF MAPPETS!! NO MORE SILLY , BLEEDIN' REQUESTS. AK'S RUNNIN' RARND LIKE A BLUE-ARSED ONE, HERE!!! IF YOU WANT A BIT OF CARAMEL OR CHOCLIT OR SUNNINK, BUY IT FROM A NEWSAGENTS AND GIVE AK A CHANCE TO SERVE DECENT BRITISH HARD WORKERS, LIKE WHAT I AM, A CUP OF DECENT BRITISH... OR, AT A STRETCH, ICELANDIC... CUP OF CHAR
Thank you, ak. I'll be in the snug if you could bring it over. Atcherly, all that shouting has made me thirsty. Could you bung me a low-cal, caffeine-free, diet Pepsi, not Coke, with a bendy straw - yeller if you've got one. Ta.