My girlfriend dumped me last night using the excuse "I'm too kinky for her in the bedroom"...........I nearly choked on her poo when she told me..
Guy goes into the pub and says to his mate "You'll never guess what happened, I was taking a short cut along the railway track and I found a woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and we had sex over and over again, all positions, everything" His mate replies "that's great did you get a blow job?" "Oh no" said the guy, I couldn't find her head"
Microsoft announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women’s breast implants. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their tits and not listening to them.
a chinese guy comes to britain and goes to exchange some yen into pounds. He aks 'how much?' the fella behind the counter says 1.32 yen to £1. He accepts On the way back to china he goes to exchange back, on counting his money he finds it to be less than he thought and looks at the guy behind the counter 'oh its 1.28 today' says the fella why? asks the chinese fella 'Fluctuations' says the fella 'fluck you Blitish too' says the chinese guy angrily
I walked in on my nan sucking my grandad's cock. I thought thats ****ing disturbing it really should have been cremated with the rest of him...
My mates shagging twins, who both like it up the arse. I asked how do you tell them apart? He said easily, Sally's got massive tits and Edge has a moustache.
A bloke walks into W.H.Smiths and say's "Do you have that new book for men with small cocks?" Girl say's "I don't think its in yet." Man say's "Yeah that's the one!"
Its said that dogs can sense when earthquakes are about to hit. Unfortunately for the Japanese they ****ing are them all.
