Friday Joke

  • Please bear with us on the new site integration and fixing any known bugs over the coming days. If you can not log in please try resetting your password and check your spam box. If you have tried these steps and are still struggling email [email protected] with your username/registered email address
  • Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!
S

staggie

Well-Known Member
Jan 20, 2010
1,875
62
48
the county of Ross
A hungry bloke walks into a seedy cafe in Glasgow......

He sits at the counter and notices a Jock with his arms folded staring
blankly at a bowl of chili.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the hungry
bloke bravely asks,

"If you aren't going to eat that, mind if I do?"

The old Jock slowly turns his head toward the young bloke and says,

"Nah, ye can gae ahead."

Eagerly, the young bloke reaches over and slides the bowl over to his
place and starts spooning it in with delight.

He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili.

The sight was shocking and he immediately pukes up the chili back into the
bowl.

The old Jock says,”Aye, thats as far as I got too."
 
The missus asked me, "When you're on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?" Apparently "Only to stop myself coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer.
 
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age.

""Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her ****ing appendix out!"
 
Marriage councellor to a couple who are contemplating divorce....... ` Tell me something both of you have in common ` Husband after a long awkward silence ` Well neither of us sucks cock `
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back