Beefy's Corner - The Off-Topic Chat Thread

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We got to work today to find a giant pile of human excrement on our doorstep. I rewound the CCTV to find a guy stroll up to the front door, pull his jeans down and squat for a quick ****. I have lost all faith in humanity and our cleaner deserves a medal.

I had to clean up my housemate's **** off the floor following a heavy night out. Those memories will haunt me forever.
 
You want to be a mother...you are expected to clear up crap and vomit.

I remember babysitting many years ago with a girl I had been going out with for a few weeks when the baby we were looking after started crying. She didn't have a clue what to do. I cleaned the baby up, changed its nappy, and put it back in it's cot and got it to sleep again no problem.

She was impressed (I wasn't) so I shagged her a couple of more times that night then dropped her the following day.

A man has to be really choosy over the woman who will be the mother of his children and care for them.
 
I remember babysitting many years ago with a girl I had been going out with for a few weeks when the baby we were looking after started crying. She didn't have a clue what to do. I cleaned the baby up, changed its nappy, and put it back in it's cot and got it to sleep again no problem.

She was impressed (I wasn't) so I shagged her a couple of more times that night then dropped her the following day.

A man has to be really choosy over the woman who will be the mother of his children and care for them.

Lad.
 
Somewhat unpleasant but necessary programme on now about suicide/depression in football by the excellent Clarke Carlisle on BBC1 now. A genuinely bright footballer tackling a serious subject.
 
Although it's a short track it probably requires one of the highest levels of concentrations as well. You're constantly bloody turning.

Yeah, bloody corkscrew. I've done it now. Did it in two sittings of 45 laps each. The reward was crap and now I feel like I've wasted a lot of time.
 
Had to retire the Mr. Nice moniker, as I realised the unpunctuated, pure version of my original name was available. I feel so streamlined.
 
The interrobang wasn't even original. I started off as -Dan, when TSS recommended I pick a more interesting punctuation mark.
 
I really want to be just Joe, but there's another one here who's not even active. How did your name suddenly become available?
 
No idea, guess the old Dan changed his name. You could always be Joe with a neat little bit of punctuation. Here are some good options:


JƟE
JoƸ
˩oe
˩ƟƸ
 
Maybe if I PM an admin and tell him my namesake hasn't signed in since 2011, he'll do something about it. It's stupid that I even care, but I wanna feel streamlined too now. :(
 
Do it! I think brb might have those powers, say you deserve it as compensation for having to put up with Banana for years. Then me, you and Mikey can start a cool gang of shortened-versions-of-first-names-as-usernames guys.
 
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