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Shearer's ebar

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by ToonSi, Jan 27, 2011.

  1. Minxy

    Minxy Just Me

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    I know a lovely team you could support :)
     
    #24101
  2. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Yes we'll give you our permission to leave, but you wont be able to use our board then.
     
    #24102
  3. Sweats

    Sweats Sure Forum Moderator

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    NEWCASTLE United’s Director of Football plans to have the team all chasing after the ball at once.





    The comet formation – so-called because players form a long tail behind the ball – was developed by Kinnear while coaching his grandson’s under-six team.

    It abandons 4-4-2, wing-backs and offside traps in favour of running, shouting, and team-mates fighting to get a toe to the ball.

    Kinnear said: “As a proper football man, I know that players are motivated by goals, goal celebrations, and pretending to be Lionel Messi. This formation gives everyone a shot at all three.

    “Imagine being on the opposing team and seeing not one but nine or ten players coming at you, all shouting ‘Mine! Mine! Mine!’ Whoever we face will be terrified.”

    The only exceptions in the 2-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1 formation are the position of goalkeeper and goalkeeper’s mate, who lean on the post talking about girls they fancy then leap into alert positions as the ball flies past them.

    Other innovations include replacing half-time rehydrating glucose drinks with cherryade and Monster Munch, and a policy that if the ball owner threatens to go home then they can be team captain.

    Asked how he plans to compete in the transfer market, Kinnear replied: “It’s not about having millions of pounds to spend, it’s about being intelligent with your team selection.

    “For example when we play Manchester United, if Moyes decides to pick Rooney then when it’s my turn I’ll pick van Persie. He picks Carrick, I pick Vidic and so on, all the way down to Nani.”
     
    #24103
  4. Resurgam

    Resurgam Top Analyst Staff Member

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    Will rep this later tonight sweats. Brilliant <laugh>
     
    #24104
  5. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    I'd support Fred's team if I lived closer.
     
    #24105
  6. Rafa's Championship Party

    Rafa's Championship Party Well-Known Member

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    Newcastle are fine by most of us.
     
    #24106

  7. Darth Gogledd

    Darth Gogledd Well-Known Member

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    I already do :)
     
    #24107
  8. Rafa's Championship Party

    Rafa's Championship Party Well-Known Member

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    Ok then we'll kidnapp you and leave you stranded in Peterborough <whistle>
     
    #24108
  9. Darth Plagueis

    Darth Plagueis Well-Known Member

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    Hard week of work. Despite getting the train most of the way, I've still gotta walk in total for about an hour each day. That on top of my work out sessions.

    I love this day though. The day where I get my treat meal and alcohol!
     
    #24109
  10. Rafa's Championship Party

    Rafa's Championship Party Well-Known Member

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    Enjoy the treat meal and alcohol
     
    #24110
  11. Sweats

    Sweats Sure Forum Moderator

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    Can't claim it as my own. Copied from the daily mash. Made me chuckle.
     
    #24111
  12. Minxy

    Minxy Just Me

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    sweaty rep <hug>
     
    #24112
  13. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    Rugby is such a painful game. Minute in and some fecker is off with a neck brace fitted <yikes>
     
    #24113
  14. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    A mate asked me what ringtone I had.

    I replied it's been a while since I looked but I'm guessing a shade of light brown.
     
    #24114
  15. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    A whiter shade of pale?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb3iPP-tHdA
     
    #24115
  16. Rafa's Championship Party

    Rafa's Championship Party Well-Known Member

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    Happened with O'Driscoll in 2005 against New Zealand in the first test of that tour. Glad to see England to win.
     
    #24116
  17. Keith Fit

    Keith Fit Well-Known Member

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    Who's buying tonight? I need to get fcking trollied.
     
    #24117
  18. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Minxy's bar is offering free drinks all night.
     
    #24118
  19. Rafa's Championship Party

    Rafa's Championship Party Well-Known Member

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    And where is that exactly.
     
    #24119
  20. Keith Fit

    Keith Fit Well-Known Member

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    It better not be in fahking Noocarstle.
     
    #24120

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