My mother in law is a big woman, and she got run over last week. The driver said that he had enough room to get round her . . . . but he didn't have enough petrol.
I was watching the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra last night, and the bloke on the triangle disappeared.
I was sat next to my wife last night bored to tears so I decided to go upstairs for a crafty w*nk. She followed me up after a couple of minutes, caught me and started a blazing argument. What a complete overreaction. Stupid bitch got us thrown off the bus!
Husband has always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light and finds the husband holding a vibrator. she goes ballistic, “you impotent bastard, how could you lie to me all these years?!” Husband looks her straight in the eyes and says “I’ll explain the toy, you explain the kids.”
I went to the doctors with a nasty cough, he said have you started smoking again"....? I said, "No why"...? He said, "That's a shame I'm selling 200 Bensons for 30 quid...
Just if you can be bothered lads. Go on Google street view and find the Bradworthy Inn in Holsworthy. Now go to the left of the pub, a couple of houses along the street. You'll come to a house for sale called The Old Forge, now go to the furthest downstairs window to the left of the building.
