Man in his 40s meets up with old school mate, Says to mate "so hows life mate you got a wife? family? Mate says" yeah mate I've got a lovely wife been married 21 years now and have 11 boys. Man goes "wow 11 boys? You could have your own football team, I've got divorced last year from my wife and she took the house and got custody of our 18 girls" "18 girls?" His mate says... "you could have your own golf course"
How can you tell when you have an elephant under your bed? You can read the writing on your light bulb.
Captain: "I didn't see you at camouflage practice today corporal @Commachio " "Thank you very much sir"