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**** jokes thread

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by PINKIE, Sep 21, 2017.

Page 29 of 41
  1. DMD

    DMD Eh? Forum Moderator

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    On the night after his wedding, a Spurs fan turned up at his parents house in tears saying "I've left her because she's told me she's still a virgin"

    "You've done the right thing" said Ma and Pa Spud. "If she wasn't good enough for her family, she's not good enough for ours".
     
    #561
    DMD, Apr 11, 2019
    The Ginger Marks likes this.
  2. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    My mate was shagging identical twins from Barrow I said ****ing hell mate how do you tell them apart so you don’t get caught, he said it’s easy the brothers got a moustache.
     
    #562
    rooch 3, Apr 11, 2019
  3. Treble

    Treble Keyser Söze

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    Surprised you didn't change it to "Spurs fan" instead of "My mate" in a futile attempt to make it funnier.
     
    #563
    Treble, Apr 12, 2019
  4. DMD

    DMD Eh? Forum Moderator

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    Pfft, like a Spurs getting a shag would ring true. :emoticon-0114-dull:
     
    #564
    DMD, Apr 12, 2019
  5. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    He was a spurs fan <laugh>
     
    #565
    rooch 3, Apr 12, 2019
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  6. The Ginger Marks

    The Ginger Marks Ma Mo

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    Only up the arse.
     
    #566
    The Ginger Marks, Apr 12, 2019
    DMD likes this.

  7. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    I used to be a Weather Forecaster .

    Does anyone want a broken Barometer ?

    No pressure ...    ​
     
    #567
    Number 1 Jasper, Apr 14, 2019
    Spurlock and remembercolinlee like this.
  8. Tobes

    Tobes Warden Forum Moderator

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    Bump
     
    #568
    Tobes, Aug 3, 2020
    Libby likes this.
  9. Welshie

    Welshie Chavcunt fanboy dickhead

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    Top thread 10/10 good stuff.

    **** Leeds
     
    #569
    Welshie, Aug 3, 2020
  10. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    Anyone hear the one about the Leeds fan who thought they'd been champions of Europe?
     
    #570
    Libby, Aug 3, 2020
  11. Saintmagic

    Saintmagic Well-Known Member

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    What’s this about Leeds?
     
    #571
    Saintmagic, Aug 3, 2020
  12. Spurlock

    Spurlock Homeboy Forum Moderator

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    To the Leeds **** who started that other joke thread

    just want to say

    I thought it was quite funny
     
    #572
    Spurlock, Aug 4, 2020
    lifecheshirewhite, Hoddle is a god and Diego like this.
  13. Diego

    Diego Lone Ranger

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    Two nuns cycling back to the convent from the village.

    First nun "iv'e never come this way before"

    Second nun "neither have i, must be the cobbles"


    An oldie but still a goodie :grin:

    @lifecheshirewhite
     
    #573
    Diego, Aug 4, 2020
    lifecheshirewhite, PINKIE, Commachio and 1 other person like this.
  14. Spurlock

    Spurlock Homeboy Forum Moderator

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    LolZ

    I can never remember a joke when I want to
     
    #574
    Spurlock, Aug 4, 2020
  15. Welshie

    Welshie Chavcunt fanboy dickhead

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    #575
    Welshie, Aug 4, 2020
    Spurlock, The Ginger Marks, Quesadaad and 2 others like this.
  16. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    Ffs <laugh>
     
    #576
    Libby, Aug 4, 2020
    Spurlock likes this.
  17. Sucky

    Sucky peoples champ & forum saviour

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    What do you call a magician who's lost his magic?


    Ian


    Im here all week
     
    #577
    Sucky, Aug 4, 2020
    gooner4ever and Spurlock like this.
  18. Schlem Boogerman

    Schlem Boogerman Well-Known Member

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    #578
    Schlem Boogerman, Aug 4, 2020
  19. Tobes

    Tobes Warden Forum Moderator

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    #579
    Tobes, Aug 4, 2020
  20. Schlem Boogerman

    Schlem Boogerman Well-Known Member

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    That had a chance of happening...
     
    #580
    Schlem Boogerman, Aug 4, 2020
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