Okay, a few more nicked from here and there.
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It bothers me that someone may steal my identity and use it to make thousands of dollars behind my back.
It mostly bothers me because I currently have my identity and can't figure out how to do that..
As I handed my dad his 70th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes...
He then said, " You know, one would have been enough."
My seatmate on a flight was a woman. Ever the charmer, I asked, "Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?"
"Yes," she said, "but I wasn’t willing to pay."
Ive just met a Chinese drug addict.
He asked me "Have you seen my cocaine?".
I said "Not since he was in Zulu".
- Yesterday my girlfriend came to me and told me she is pregnant.
- Really? What did you say?
- Nothing. I cried.
- Really? Why?
- Because I know what it means to grow up without a father.
I've left my job as my new girlfriend didn't agree with us testing our product on animals. To be fair, I didn't like working at the hammer factory anyway.