Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

[Baldrick's Cunning Plan]

Tom went fishing one morning, but after a short while, he ran out of worms.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a cottonmouth snake with a frog in its mouth.

“Frogs make great bass bait,” he thought to himself.

Knowing the snake couldn’t bite him while it had the frog in its mouth, Tom grabbed it carefully behind the head, took the frog, and placed it in his bait bucket.

Then he realized he had a problem.

How was he supposed to release the snake without getting bitten?

So, he picked up his bottle of Jack Daniel’s and poured a little whiskey into the snake’s mouth.

The snake’s eyes rolled back, and it went limp.

Tom released it safely and continued fishing with the frog.

A little while later, he felt something nudging his foot.

He looked down and saw the very same snake standing there…

This time, it had TWO frogs in its mouth.

 

[Baldrick's Cunning Plan]

A man is on holiday in Spain and can’t decide what to eat in a restaurant.

To get some inspiration, he looks at the neighboring tables and spots a plate with two large meatballs and vegetables that looks quite delicious.

He calls the waitress: “I would like the same dish as that gentleman over there!”

The waitress replies: “I’m sorry, Señor, but the house specialty is only available once a day.”

“Why is that?”

“The dish is prepared from the testicles of the bull that died in today’s corrida. So you must come back tomorrow.”

The man actually decides to come back the next day and immediately orders the specialty.

The waitress asks again: “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

When the food is served, the man is disappointed: there are only two small meatballs on the plate.

He still eats everything.

When paying, he says to the waitress:

“So… the bull today must have had rather small testicles.”

The waitress smiles and replies:

“You know, Señor… the bull doesn’t always win.”