Off Topic The Sullivan & Gold Comedy Corner

[Spur of the Moment]

'Lady' Brady's familial crest and motto...

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Redde Nihil Decipiat in Omnibus

Translated to:
‘Deliver me in all things, nothing deceive thee’

In itself a load of lying pretentious bollocks (which I guess sums her up), but disappointing as I thought it might be a reference to improving the public transport links to the TPA!

 

["Thanks for that Brian"]

West Ham have released images of those who won the lottery and will be receiving lifetime bans. I'm not sure that they haven't made some of these up? Number 7 is definitely Voldemort and Number 8 is The Trunchbull

https://www.independent.co.uk/sport...on-stadium-disorder-vs-burnley-a8281736.html#

 

[humanbeingincroydon]

This may be related to today's date, however...

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[Spur of the Moment]

BBC rumours....
‘West Ham want to keep manager David Moyes beyond the end of the season after the former Everton and Manchester United boss guided the Hammers away from the relegation zone.’

Should that not read...
West Ham want to keep manager David Moyes beyond the end of the season after the former Everton and Manchester United boss managed to somehow secure one win and possibly steer the Hammers away from the relegation zone. The fact that non-one else wants to touch the club with a 100 mile long barge pole has not influenced that decision’.

 

[SpursDisciple]

BBC rumours....
‘West Ham want to keep manager David Moyes beyond the end of the season after the former Everton and Manchester United boss guided the Hammers away from the relegation zone.’

Should that not read...
West Ham want to keep manager David Moyes beyond the end of the season after the former Everton and Manchester United boss managed to somehow secure one win and possibly steer the Hammers away from the relegation zone. The fact that non-one else wants to touch the club with a 100 mile long barge pole has not influenced that decision’.

Are they also glossing over the fact that they are not yet safe. Admittedly I can't see where the next point is coming from for Stoke, Palace and Southampton, but if a couple of them start wining, West Ham are not that clear.

And no suggestions about Stokes next win. I'm nervous enough about the next game.

 

[humanbeingincroydon]

Are they also glossing over the fact that they are not yet safe. Admittedly I can't see where the next point is coming from for Stoke, Palace and Southampton, but if a couple of them start wining, West Ham are not that clear.

And no suggestions about Stokes next win. I'm nervous enough about the next game.

I can guess where six points will come from for Palace: their last two games are Stoke and West Brom.

More importantly, how glorious would it be if Stoke did the Scammers in a couple of weeks to drag them right back down into the mire?

 

[Citizen Kane]

They still have to play Chelsea away, Arsenal away and City at home. Leicester away will also be tricky albeit the most attacking team ever (TM) will have nothing to play for by then.

Hope springs eternal.

 

[humanbeingincroydon]

And the award of the pissiest West Scam blog of the week goes to Claret & Hugh for this effort...

Spurs announced record turnover yesterday for last season totalling £306m with a wage bill of £127m and a gross profit of over £117m. The North London club earned over £150m in TV money with a further £44m in Champions League prize money and £5m in prize money from a domestic cup run while ticket revenue reduced by £3m in the last season at White Hart Lane due to lowered capacity. Spurs Chairman Daniel Levy doubled his own salary from under £3m to over £6m per year.

The financial gulf between West Ham and Spurs has grown from £68m in 2016 to over £123m in 2017. It is really a case of the richest football clubs getting richer.

West Ham announced record turnover of £183m last month up from £142m in 2016, however, Spurs new figures of £306m was up from £210m in 2016 an increase of £96m!

Chelsea recorded revenue of £361m last season with Arsenal’s turnover close to £423m. When it comes to financial might West Ham will remain in fourth place in London for the foreseeable future. The London Stadium will make little difference in financial terms and the Hammers are a long way off from the £300m+ club.

No, you clattering halfwit, it's not a case of "the richest clubs getting richer" - it's a case of a sensibly-run club earning more money by qualifying for the Champions League due to winning a lot more games than they lose and gaining the financial rewards that brings, which you're comparing to a club that loses a hell of a lot more games than they win every single season that's run by a trio of asset-strippers in charge of a financial timebomb waiting to happen considering the club's finances haven't improved even after conning a free stadium out of the British taxpayer.

At least this bloke gets it.

 

[SpursDisciple]

And the award of the pissiest West Scam blog of the week goes to Claret & Hugh for this effort...

Spurs announced record turnover yesterday for last season totalling £306m with a wage bill of £127m and a gross profit of over £117m. The North London club earned over £150m in TV money with a further £44m in Champions League prize money and £5m in prize money from a domestic cup run while ticket revenue reduced by £3m in the last season at White Hart Lane due to lowered capacity. Spurs Chairman Daniel Levy doubled his own salary from under £3m to over £6m per year.

The financial gulf between West Ham and Spurs has grown from £68m in 2016 to over £123m in 2017. It is really a case of the richest football clubs getting richer.

West Ham announced record turnover of £183m last month up from £142m in 2016, however, Spurs new figures of £306m was up from £210m in 2016 an increase of £96m!

Chelsea recorded revenue of £361m last season with Arsenal’s turnover close to £423m. When it comes to financial might West Ham will remain in fourth place in London for the foreseeable future. The London Stadium will make little difference in financial terms and the Hammers are a long way off from the £300m+ club.

No, you clattering halfwit, it's not a case of "the richest clubs getting richer" - it's a case of a sensibly-run club earning more money by qualifying for the Champions League due to winning a lot more games than they lose and gaining the financial rewards that brings, which you're comparing to a club that loses a hell of a lot more games than they win every single season that's run by a trio of asset-strippers in charge of a financial timebomb waiting to happen considering the club's finances haven't improved even after conning a free stadium out of the British taxpayer.

At least this bloke gets it.

Also by concentrating on turnover, he's ignoring the huge advantage they have in terms of costs. Our turnover has to build a stadium, pay for police, stewards etc. Hammers just get to share it amongst their Directors. Do we know what Brady and the Porn brothers pay themselves?

 

[humanbeingincroydon]

Also by concentrating on turnover, he's ignoring the huge advantage they have in terms of costs. Our turnover has to build a stadium, pay for police, stewards etc. Hammers just get to share it amongst their Directors. Do we know what Brady and the Porn brothers pay themselves?

According to Companies House figures from this time last year, Baroness Pigface was paid £907k, having graciously decided to give herself a 40% pay raise from the previous year because of...anyone?

However, it didn't take long to dig up how Baroness Pigface happened to award herself a £1m bonus back in 2013 to be spread over five years as "reward" for colluding with Boris Johnson and Seb Coent to defraud the British taxpayer, meaning the figures published by Companies House are at least £200k short of the correct figure.

Just remember this the next time she lectures Apprentice candidates about ethics...

 

["Thanks for that Brian"]

According to Companies House figures from this time last year, Baroness Pigface was paid £907k, having graciously decided to give herself a 40% pay raise from the previous year because of...anyone?

Wasn't it on the basis of successfully meeting the criteria of changing the branding of the club?

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/oct/05/west-ham-karren-brady-stadium-move

That's the funniest article that I've read for a while....rebrand.......

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[Spur of the Moment]

Wasn't it on the basis of successfully meeting the criteria of changing the branding of the club?

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/oct/05/west-ham-karren-brady-stadium-move

That's the funniest article that I've read for a while....rebrand.......

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[The RDBD]

Wasn't it on the basis of successfully meeting the criteria of changing the branding of the club?

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/oct/05/west-ham-karren-brady-stadium-move

That's the funniest article that I've read for a while....rebrand

Much more Jo/Wussell Brand than rebrand.

 

[Blue and White]

And the award of the pissiest West Scam blog of the week goes to Claret & Hugh for this effort...

Spurs announced record turnover yesterday for last season totalling £306m with a wage bill of £127m and a gross profit of over £117m. The North London club earned over £150m in TV money with a further £44m in Champions League prize money and £5m in prize money from a domestic cup run while ticket revenue reduced by £3m in the last season at White Hart Lane due to lowered capacity. Spurs Chairman Daniel Levy doubled his own salary from under £3m to over £6m per year.

The financial gulf between West Ham and Spurs has grown from £68m in 2016 to over £123m in 2017. It is really a case of the richest football clubs getting richer.

West Ham announced record turnover of £183m last month up from £142m in 2016, however, Spurs new figures of £306m was up from £210m in 2016 an increase of £96m!

Chelsea recorded revenue of £361m last season with Arsenal’s turnover close to £423m. When it comes to financial might West Ham will remain in fourth place in London for the foreseeable future. The London Stadium will make little difference in financial terms and the Hammers are a long way off from the £300m+ club.

No, you clattering halfwit, it's not a case of "the richest clubs getting richer" - it's a case of a sensibly-run club earning more money by qualifying for the Champions League due to winning a lot more games than they lose and gaining the financial rewards that brings, which you're comparing to a club that loses a hell of a lot more games than they win every single season that's run by a trio of asset-strippers in charge of a financial timebomb waiting to happen considering the club's finances haven't improved even after conning a free stadium out of the British taxpayer.

At least this bloke gets it.

Also by simply keeping wages sensible.
How is the little pea doing on his £130,000 a week salary?

 

[Spur of the Moment]

Also by simply keeping wages sensible.
How is the little pea doing on his £130,000 a week salary?

You could say that a little Pea(e] is taking an almighty piss!

 

[Spur of the Moment]

‘West Ham will prioritise signing defenders this summer, with Swansea's Alfie Mawson, 24, and Brighton's Lewis Dunk, 26, their top targets.’

‘Nurse, Nurse!!’
Oh, that’s almost Mouser-level delusion.....

 

[Spur of the Moment]

City, Leicester (away) and Utd - next 3 games for the Spammers. They could easily still be on 35 points going into the last game against Everton.......

It couldn’t happen, could it??

 

[humanbeingincroydon]

City, Leicester (away) and Utd - next 3 games for the Spammers. They could easily still be on 35 points going into the last game against Everton.......

It couldn’t happen, could it??

Swansea finishing with back-to-back six pointers against Southampton and Stoke could throw a spanner in the works.

Could...

 

[Spur of the Moment]

Swansea finishing with back-to-back six pointers against Southampton and Stoke could throw a spanner in the works.

Could...

Bugger!!

 

[humanbeingincroydon]

Bugger!!

Looking at the run-ins it's technically possible, although the requirements are...
* West Scam to lose all four games
* Swansea to get two (preferably three) points from their remaining games
* Palace and Huddersfield to get at least a point from their remaining fixtures, just to be safe
* Southampton to get six points from their remaining games

Looking at the fixtures, it is possible...

Palace
Leicester (h)
Stoke (a)
West Brom (h)
- a point from either Stoke or West Brom is the least they can expect

West Scam
The Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed bin Sultan bin Zayed bin Khalifa Al Nahyan Team (h)
Leicester (a)
Expensive Stoke (h)
Everton (h)
- it's also feasible for the Scammers to lose all four of these, as the Manc teams would be expected to brush them aside while Allardyce would love to stick it to his previous club, so as long as Leicester play along 0 from 4 is achievable

Huddersfield
Everton (h)
The Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed bin Sultan bin Zayed bin Khalifa Al Nahyan Team (a)
Chelsea (a)
Arsenal (h)
- this is where it gets tricky, as to get that point Huddersfield would need a point against Everton, Abu Dhabi to suddenly run out of money so £uardiola plays the youth team and demonstrates he has no clue who any of them are or what position they play, Conte to go "fanculo" and play ten goalkeepers outfield and Morata in goal to force Uncle Roman to give him the pay off he's after, or Wenger's last to go about as well as Custer's did.

Swansea
Chelsea (h)
Bournemouth (a)
Southampton (h)
Stoke (h)
- it's certainly possible for Swansea to pick up a couple of points here, possibly six against Stoke and Bournemouth, and they'll need to given how the remainder of this pans out...

Stoke
Palace (h)
Swansea (a)
- if you wouldn't mind losing both of these and buggering off to the Championship, that'd be great

Southampton
Bournemouth (h)
Everton (a)
Swansea (a)
The Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed bin Sultan bin Zayed bin Khalifa Al Nahyan Team (h)
- it's possible they can get a win against Swansea, at this point it all hangs on whether Bournemouth's players are mentally on the beach already. If they are, the Scammers can blow their bubbles at Ewood Park.