I don’t really wanna be messing with a lass who’s undercarriage smells of Lynx to be fair mate.
Definite amber flag that (not red, as it’s still a smash innit?)
Off Topic Sex
- Thread starter Teessidemackem
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I don’t really wanna be messing with a lass who’s undercarriage smells of Lynx to be fair mate.
Definite amber flag that (not red, as it’s still a smash innit?)
When im single i literally couldnt give a feck. I go out on a Sat night looking for a worldie. My standard drops by the hour.
I remember walking home with a pizza one night about 2am and this big fat bird about 18 klem was walking behind me like one of the Bisto kids sniffing out my Pizza.
I ended up taking her back to mine and smashing her from behind while she ate my supper. Greedy bitch never even left me a crust!
I remember walking home with a pizza one night about 2am and this big fat bird about 18 klem was walking behind me like one of the Bisto kids sniffing out my Pizza.
I ended up taking her back to mine and smashing her from behind while she ate my supper. Greedy bitch never even left me a crust!
Couldn’t do it mate, I never let the standard drop too far, I just can’t like.
I do like a certain look in a lass, variations of a theme and that, it’s not even deliberate but if you lined them all up there’d be very few who were stand out different.
Green eyes are my absolute ****ing weakness mind, green eyes and some banter and I’m away like a pure ****ing drip, ha.
When you are a shift worker and have a family who give you little time for privacy it is a case of grabbing the moment when you can.. Sometimes often, sometimes gaps..
I turn into a deviant when im pished mate lol. I do have morals where a relationship is concerned though.
Without sounding like a nob ive had some stunners in my time but their craic has been pitiful and the performace in bed isnt much better. The mingers ive pulled have been pure filth in the sack though.
I think ive nailed it now with my lass though. Shes the full package.
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Being a shift worker myself with baby twins was probably part of the reason me and my ex split up mate. The intamacy in our relationship became none existent and we were just literally mam and dad.
I've seen a couple of them
Worst shag I've ever had in my life and ever will have was with a 88/10. Absolutely beautiful. Flawless. Should have been dating an A-lister celebrity. What a boring **** she was though and proper timid in the bed, wouldn't let me look at her fanny. It was awkward and **** as ****.
I've done hundreds of mingers though, I done one lass that was incontinent and wore nappies. I never heard the last of that one. Done loads of fatties too. At the same time, I wouldn't turn the clock back because it was an absolute howl. Looking back I think that's why I done it really, just for a laugh.
I've seen a couple of them
Worst shag I've ever had in my life and ever will have was with a 88/10. Absolutely beautiful. Flawless. Should have been dating an A-lister celebrity. What a boring **** she was though and proper timid in the bed, wouldn't let me look at her fanny. It was awkward and **** as ****.
I've done hundreds of mingers though, I done one lass that was incontinent and wore nappies. I never heard the last of that one. Done loads of fatties too. At the same time, I wouldn't turn the clock back because it was an absolute howl. Looking back I think that's why I done it really, just for a laugh.
quality mate..Whats better when your single a w@nk or a shag? I know what id choose hence my lack of morals when it came to finding someone to take my load.
I'd take a shag over a ****, any day of the week mate. I've gone off the boil lately, but I've done it through choice and it's the first time in about 15 years, I've really spent time to myself and completely pied lasses off. I think my Mam dying changed a lot of that though, because it was always her, me and Sammie. Now it's just me and Sammie, I'm incredibly close to her. Kind of all I've got in life now, so I'm just clinging to her.
Whats better when your single a w@nk or a shag? I know what id choose hence my lack of morals when it came to finding someone to take my load.
Whats better when your single a w@nk or a shag? I know what id choose hence my lack of morals when it came to finding someone to take my load.
2 different things for me like. I always find after a one nighter as soon as they **** off I pull the heed off it.
In a relationship I just dee it on them, they love that **** anyway, well the ones I end up with do.
People are clear what they are getting into with me I can’t be getting them to that point then them legging our the door in fear, things get a bit ****ed up round here butwhen you have a match in that area it’s the ****ing business!
I had this lass one time, not my bird just someone I worked with about once a month she’d text ‘hi’ which basically meant it was on.
We could only get into it if I pretended to kidnap her and that, one time along the Quayside in broad daylight had to scream up in the car and chuck her in the back and speed off, I was living in fear in the roads for a fortnight after but was good fun. She is married and sensible now I always think it’s mad how people grow into normality, I’ve missed that ****ing gene it appears.
Gotta admit I'm not big into role play and fantasies like. That could have ended badly for you, but I suppose that was half of the fun for ya.
It reminds me of a story about my brother. He drove his lass all the way to Hexham (**** knows why), dropped her off and then picked her up 10 mins later where she was standing on the corner waiting for him. He drove her down a country lane in Slaley, got her out the car and bent her over it. Then drove all the way back to Jarrow.
Apparently it was just the prostitute fantasy he had. I couldn't be arsed going to them lengths.
Not really my cuppa to be honest mate was just that one lass she was mental, good fun though.
She used to combine things, like she’d wear hold ups and **** but like proper cute spotty knickers, all utterly deliberate to kind of throw your brain, she was an absolute nut job in a lot of ways and smart as a carrot in others.
I declined an offer from her once and never heard from her again, ha. Didn’t give a **** to be fair it was never owt more than a bit frisk to me.
I've been married for 3 year now, before I met the Mrs I was playing in a band, then DJ'ing and traveling all over the place. I had a lot of fun. I agree with what someone said earlier, Some of the best looking girls are great to look at but boring as ****. If you get the best of both worlds hold on to them.
What I would say is always be careful, I know a few lads who dipped their wick without a helmet and have contracted all sorts. I guess its luck because another mate has just been in Thailand for 2 weeks, shagged half the towns hookers without any protection, his STD tests all came out clear. We all went out and had a few beers with him to celebrate. That man has no standards though, he shagged a monster from Whitley recently who he let golden shower him. the man has no standards at all.
What I would say is always be careful, I know a few lads who dipped their wick without a helmet and have contracted all sorts. I guess its luck because another mate has just been in Thailand for 2 weeks, shagged half the towns hookers without any protection, his STD tests all came out clear. We all went out and had a few beers with him to celebrate. That man has no standards though, he shagged a monster from Whitley recently who he let golden shower him. the man has no standards at all.
I'd probably get on with your mate
It's good to see you back posting. I would never ever, go to Thailand and hump bareback though, that's crazy. He's extremely lucky. I've caught chlamydia twice, it's nothing. I didn't even know I had it, it just showed up when I went for random testing (which I've always done). First time I had a weeks course of antibiotics and it was gone. The second time they just give me two really strong tablets which knocked me ill for a couple of days.
When I first got online I remember talking to a lass via facebook who wanted me to break into her house, wearing a balaclava, sneak into her bedroom and rape her at gunpoint! Not sure what her husband would have made of it! I stopped talking to her soon after that!