Why does every bride smile when she walks down the aisle? ... coz she knows she's given her last blow job.
Did you hear Mick Hucknall is up on sex charges? He was caught having sex with a rabbit. He was holding back the ears, but bunny's to tight to mention x
West Mersea police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers, but the Chief Constable said they must wear their normal uniforms.
After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, Chief Inspector McTavish has announced that he’s looking for a man with one eye. If he doesn’t find him, he’s going to use both eyes.
It's being reported that there has been a collision in the English Channel. A ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint. It is believed that both crews have been marooned.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van on the Kingston bypass, motorists are told to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
Girl walking her Dachshund on a summers day, was approached by the local vicar who said, hello, you are looking good today and what a lovely dress you are wearing (panic), can I ask you name? Girl says Petal. Vicar says is that because when you were born all the flowers were blooming? Girl says Yep.. And what a lovely little dog that is, can I ask his name? Girl says Porky, is that because he is little and looks like a sausage on legs? Nah, he ****s pigs..
We’ve just heard that a juggernaut of onions has shed its load all over the M1. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on.
George Thrakes, the building contractor who was jailed last year for supplying millions of pounds worth of defective building materials to the Government, escaped from Wormwood Scrubs today when the front fell off.
“In a drive to improve standards in service and hygiene, a West End hotel today dismissed a waiter for having his thumb in the soup. They also dismissed a topless waitress for two similar offences.” gotta love Ronnie Corbett
