I'll level with you mate for the 1st time in my years on here I feel completely defeated both emotionally and spiritually. It's like dawn of the dead on here.
Your back must be ****ing bad. So dust yourself down, give yer head a wobble and start acting like the mentor you are to your trainee.
I don't want to have that vision in my head thanks, but my advice would be don't get it near the tip. That will BURN!