Off Topic Things that aren't worth a new thread ...

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Snaggey said:
Get a plumber out to fit a tap....ha'way man.
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Well, I don't usually.

But I had a modern tap that needed fixing, it had no screw to undo the top , as i am used to. It did have already fitted a isolatimg valve. I tried pulling it off and the whole sink unit started too move. So I went to B&Q found the tap chatted to the assistant and tried pulling the two parts in the shop no luck.

I also had an outside tap not working properly trying to use a wrench on that nearly wrecked that that.

Finally I have one of those push a button flushing cisterns not working right

I already pay a small monthly amount for plumbing and central heating maintenance. So I thought fcuk it called them, coughed up £50, he came the next day and fixed all three problems in about 20 or 30 mins. The new tap alone was about £70.

I am sure there is a moral to this tale, but I am not sure what it is.
 
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Sunderpitt said:
Well, I don't usually.

But I had a modern tap that needed fixing, it had no screw to undo the top , as i am used to. It did have already fitted a isolatimg valve. I tried pulling it off and the whole sink unit started too move. So I went to B&Q found the tap chatted to the assistant and tried pulling the two parts in the shop no luck.

I also had an outside tap not working properly trying to use a wrench on that nearly wrecked that that.

Finally I have one of those push a button flushing cisterns not working right

I already pay a small monthly amount for plumbing and central heating maintenance. So I thought fcuk it called them, coughed up £50, he came the next day and fixed all three problems in about 20 or 30 mins. The new tap alone was about £70.

I am sure there is a moral to this tale, but I am not sure what it is.
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Sometimes it's just better to bite the bullet and get a professional in mate, and tbf, the £50 excess charge is pretty reasonable.

With my tap, if the two water supply fittings had been the same (male) I would have had it done in 30 mins or so.

I ****ed up by starting it at about 7.30pm....so by the time I realised one was female, it was too late to nip out and get one. It took literally 5 minutes to connect it up today once i had the right fitting.

To add insult to injury, the Mrs reminded me this morning as i was getting a wash standing over the bath...."bet you wished you left it till the weekend now"....
 
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Been struggling since I lost my mam in January, watched her die an awful death and was left with sorting everything out once she passed away.
I think about her constantly and still cant believe she is gone, I am blessed with a lovely wife and kids which has helped but I am struggling to deal with it and it seems to be getting worse. Im not depressed or anything I just feel a little lost at times and truthfully I feel a little vulnerable and I dont know why. I am about to fly out on holiday this afternoon and just keep thinking about mam. I keep comparing everything to when mam was alive, not sure if thats normal, my plan is to try and switch off totally for 2 weeks and hope it helps. Any advise on dealing with this would be greatly appreciated, I am not one for showing my feelings and that will never change as its just the way I am, strangely putting this on here is easier than talking to my wife about it.
 
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LBW said:
Been struggling since I lost my mam in January, watched her die an awful death and was left with sorting everything out once she passed away.
I think about her constantly and still cant believe she is gone, I am blessed with a lovely wife and kids which has helped but I am struggling to deal with it and it seems to be getting worse. Im not depressed or anything I just feel a little lost at times and truthfully I feel a little vulnerable and I dont know why. I am about to fly out on holiday this afternoon and just keep thinking about mam. I keep comparing everything to when mam was alive, not sure if thats normal, my plan is to try and switch off totally for 2 weeks and hope it helps. Any advise on dealing with this would be greatly appreciated, I am not one for showing my feelings and that will never change as its just the way I am, strangely putting this on here is easier than talking to my wife about it.
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I'm truly sorry for your loss mate, I was with my mam when she died 4 years ago and I can appreciate the way you're feeling. It's hard to put into words how to deal with grief and in my opinion you need to find something inside that helps you. There's not a day goes by that I don't think of my parents and yes there are times I feel guilty about being on holiday and my mam is not around but the one thing you will need to think of is that your mam wouldn't want you not to enjoy yourself with your family on holiday.

Sorry if this reply does not help you as you wished but I feel dealing with that kind of loss has to come from within and there's no one way to rectify.

If you ever need someone to chat drop me a message and we can maybe put the world to rights
 
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Don't know w
LBW said:
Been struggling since I lost my mam in January, watched her die an awful death and was left with sorting everything out once she passed away.
I think about her constantly and still cant believe she is gone, I am blessed with a lovely wife and kids which has helped but I am struggling to deal with it and it seems to be getting worse. Im not depressed or anything I just feel a little lost at times and truthfully I feel a little vulnerable and I dont know why. I am about to fly out on holiday this afternoon and just keep thinking about mam. I keep comparing everything to when mam was alive, not sure if thats normal, my plan is to try and switch off totally for 2 weeks and hope it helps. Any advise on dealing with this would be greatly appreciated, I am not one for showing my feelings and that will never change as its just the way I am, strangely putting this on here is easier than talking to my wife about it.


Don't know why losing your mam is different than losing others but it is to me anyway.
I lost mine nearly 50 years ago and whilst she's not always in my thoughts she's never far away.
Everyone says time is a big healer and it is but you never forget, I was close to both my parents, my dad died 3 years before I lost mam and being in my early twenties it was really hard.
Everyone handles grief differently LBW, there's no right or wrong way, but you will cope better in time don't set yourself any limits on your grief, go and enjoy your holiday and take your mam with you in your head as it's the most natural thing in the world....good luck mate.
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LBW said:
Been struggling since I lost my mam in January, watched her die an awful death and was left with sorting everything out once she passed away.
I think about her constantly and still cant believe she is gone, I am blessed with a lovely wife and kids which has helped but I am struggling to deal with it and it seems to be getting worse. Im not depressed or anything I just feel a little lost at times and truthfully I feel a little vulnerable and I dont know why. I am about to fly out on holiday this afternoon and just keep thinking about mam. I keep comparing everything to when mam was alive, not sure if thats normal, my plan is to try and switch off totally for 2 weeks and hope it helps. Any advise on dealing with this would be greatly appreciated, I am not one for showing my feelings and that will never change as its just the way I am, strangely putting this on here is easier than talking to my wife about it.
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Sorry for your loss mate, I can't relate personally but I'm sure there are some good people on here who have had a similar experience and will be willing to help you through it.
 
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LBW said:
Been struggling since I lost my mam in January, watched her die an awful death and was left with sorting everything out once she passed away.
I think about her constantly and still cant believe she is gone, I am blessed with a lovely wife and kids which has helped but I am struggling to deal with it and it seems to be getting worse. Im not depressed or anything I just feel a little lost at times and truthfully I feel a little vulnerable and I dont know why. I am about to fly out on holiday this afternoon and just keep thinking about mam. I keep comparing everything to when mam was alive, not sure if thats normal, my plan is to try and switch off totally for 2 weeks and hope it helps. Any advise on dealing with this would be greatly appreciated, I am not one for showing my feelings and that will never change as its just the way I am, strangely putting this on here is easier than talking to my wife about it.
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It's hard mate and perfectly normal to be upset, of course it is.

I wouldn't analyse it too much, or try to switch off on holiday, just let your brain find a way through it all. People around you will appreciate what you're going through and those who don't know will just act normally ... both will help.

It's tough mate but that's life and it doesn't always seem fair. It sound like you were lucky to have had her and vice versa, that counts for a lot.

Good luck and fingers crossed you're not going to Rhodes!
 
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LBW said:
Been struggling since I lost my mam in January, watched her die an awful death and was left with sorting everything out once she passed away.
I think about her constantly and still cant believe she is gone, I am blessed with a lovely wife and kids which has helped but I am struggling to deal with it and it seems to be getting worse. Im not depressed or anything I just feel a little lost at times and truthfully I feel a little vulnerable and I dont know why. I am about to fly out on holiday this afternoon and just keep thinking about mam. I keep comparing everything to when mam was alive, not sure if thats normal, my plan is to try and switch off totally for 2 weeks and hope it helps. Any advise on dealing with this would be greatly appreciated, I am not one for showing my feelings and that will never change as its just the way I am, strangely putting this on here is easier than talking to my wife about it.
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Sorry for your loss LBW, grief is natural and we all experience it but in slightly different ways. I was very close to my parents and indeed my in-laws and was hit pretty hard when they died.

When my Mam and Dad died I managed all of the arrangements and hid my grief for the benefit of my close family, I suffered for that later when it finally hit me.

I think about them every day in a good way and have purposely blocked the experience of their deaths because I know that’s what they would want. As @Essayyeffcee said your Mam would want you to enjoy yourself, you deserve it. I take comfort in knowing that my parents would want me to be happy and not allow their passing to have an adverse effect on me.

I suppose it’s not much help when your grief is fresh but I believe that life is for the living and I am absolutely positive that my parents would not want me to dwell on their passing but celebrate the good times we had.
 
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LBW said:
Been struggling since I lost my mam in January, watched her die an awful death and was left with sorting everything out once she passed away.
I think about her constantly and still cant believe she is gone, I am blessed with a lovely wife and kids which has helped but I am struggling to deal with it and it seems to be getting worse. Im not depressed or anything I just feel a little lost at times and truthfully I feel a little vulnerable and I dont know why. I am about to fly out on holiday this afternoon and just keep thinking about mam. I keep comparing everything to when mam was alive, not sure if thats normal, my plan is to try and switch off totally for 2 weeks and hope it helps. Any advise on dealing with this would be greatly appreciated, I am not one for showing my feelings and that will never change as its just the way I am, strangely putting this on here is easier than talking to my wife about it.
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Sorry for your loss mate , and for what you are going through. There’s no text book answer to help you - my suggestion is rather than try to block it all , which your mind may not let you do , embrace thoughts of your mam , the happy memories, and how she would be enjoying this holiday - I’m sure she’ll be at your side willing you to enjoy and be happy. Can’t guarantee it’ll help , hope something does and you and your family have a good time .
 
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LBW said:
Been struggling since I lost my mam in January, watched her die an awful death and was left with sorting everything out once she passed away.
I think about her constantly and still cant believe she is gone, I am blessed with a lovely wife and kids which has helped but I am struggling to deal with it and it seems to be getting worse. Im not depressed or anything I just feel a little lost at times and truthfully I feel a little vulnerable and I dont know why. I am about to fly out on holiday this afternoon and just keep thinking about mam. I keep comparing everything to when mam was alive, not sure if thats normal, my plan is to try and switch off totally for 2 weeks and hope it helps. Any advise on dealing with this would be greatly appreciated, I am not one for showing my feelings and that will never change as its just the way I am, strangely putting this on here is easier than talking to my wife about it.
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she has been there all your life mate and it is always hard to know what to do, there is nowt wrong with her always being on your mind (as she should be actually) and at some point you will naturally move on with your own life, which will not mean forgetting about her...there is never a right or wrong time, it will happen when it does.

sorry to hear of your loss, we all know 'that' day will come and for all we try to prepare ourselves it is always a shock.
 
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LBW said:
Been struggling since I lost my mam in January, watched her die an awful death and was left with sorting everything out once she passed away.
I think about her constantly and still cant believe she is gone, I am blessed with a lovely wife and kids which has helped but I am struggling to deal with it and it seems to be getting worse. Im not depressed or anything I just feel a little lost at times and truthfully I feel a little vulnerable and I dont know why. I am about to fly out on holiday this afternoon and just keep thinking about mam. I keep comparing everything to when mam was alive, not sure if thats normal, my plan is to try and switch off totally for 2 weeks and hope it helps. Any advise on dealing with this would be greatly appreciated, I am not one for showing my feelings and that will never change as its just the way I am, strangely putting this on here is easier than talking to my wife about it.
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So sorry to hear you're struggling mate, I remember you posting about your Mam in January. If I remember correctly you said she gave it a real good go, fought till the end.
Feeling lost and vulnerable is a pretty good description of how I felt when I lost my first parent. It does get easier, or rather you come to terms with it , sometimes it just takes longer than you want it to, if that makes sense.
Talking about it is important though, whether to your wife and family, or a bunch of strangers on am Internet footy forum, it doesn't matter, just as long as you talk.....that's the important thing.
There's some great people on here, they've been an unbelievable help to me, so talk away.....someone will always be listening.

Try and enjoy your holiday mate, it sounds like you need, and deserve it.
 
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